I went with my sis to NCC service last sun as Joyce flew me aeroplane (see this?)...haha. and Ps Lian preached on the UNMERITED, UNEARNED AND UNDESERVED favour of God! This was what the guest pastor preached on sat during our young adult service as well! okay, although i enjoyed both pastors' sermons, i did not think that i had God's favour, afterall God helps those who help themselves isnt it?

but i was soon to be proven wrong.

Okay here's what happened. I was offered a promoter job through Ryan's friend's Yunyi, through Jess who graciously gave the job up to me. I was to work from dec 1st to the 23rd, but alas! i got youth camp and the penang trip! So i asked if there is any way around that. The lady boss said i could find a friend for the days i cannot work. For this, i asked Joyce but she cant. So she offered to help me ask Peiqi. Thing is, Peiqi contacted me but did not give me an answer. However, i think she would most likely be able to help me so....After the service, i returned a call to the lady boss and she told me to meet up with her.Okay, so i thought that i had a job and need not worry. Then Peiqi msged me to tell me that she is unable to help me as she had another job which dates clashes with mine.

Then?

I was utterly disappointed yet at the same time, HELPLESS. What was i to do since i gave my promise?
Blame it on my pressumption. So what i am going to do?

Okay, to cut the long story short, i called up many of my social work friends, msged Jess to tell her that i might not go Penang with them. but i think i am super suay cos all the friends i asked cannot help me, for one reason or another. I was really desperate cos i really wanted to work. and the boss sounded nice, i kinda feel bad that i cant deliver what i promised. and it was like so last min. But in the end, i was left with no choice but to call and say that i cant work for her as i cant find any friends to cover for me.

In fact that decision was reached after much deliberation. I just cant bear to see this opportunity slip away! i was so bu gan yuan! how could it be that there is no friend who can help me?
But i have done all i could, and still i failed. by now i was sian half. I have to CALL the boss and tell her i CANNOT work.
before calling her, i prayed a little prayer and it was something like;
God, I don't know what will happen but Lord i know you know what you are doing. Lord whatever it is, i wanna trust you in this.

and after i made that call and told her i cant work, my disappointment made way for a tremendous sense of relief. perhaps, it just wasnt meant to be, at least i told her the real reason. at that moment, i did not feel any tinge of regret or held it against any of my friends. peace was with me.

shortly after, the boss called me again and told me to work for her first and meanwhile find people to cover me!!!! gosh, when i heard that, i was elated! after putting the phone down, i thought to myself: "this must be God's favour! nothing else! I did not do anything! i did not even plead to work, i only told her the reason and apologised. man....i really couldnt quite believe that i actually did nothing to get this job! Praise God! and all glory to God!

Truly and surely, this is the UNMERITED, UNEARNED AND UNDESERVED favour of God!!!!


Ps: i dunnno how u guys are going to view this, perhaps some may think that it is mere luck or coincidence. or maybe the boss really shorthanded. hmm... if u believe there is someone who can give u more than anything the world can give u, more than anything anyone can give u, it is God.

If u believe there is more to life than the life u are leading now
There is.
And it is in Christ Jesus.

posted by ser @ 11:15 PM   1 Comments

posted by ser @ 11:47 PM  

Just yesterday, i was quite bothered by what one of my friends did. Thing is, what she did was done with kind intentions, but i dunno what got into my koo-koo head and i ended up quite irritated with her! Of cos, all these thoughts were only warring up in virtual space! but i cant help thinking that i need no sympathy. I felt that i was kinda being "looked down upon", pity enough to be offered something. Sure, it was a harmless act but i cant help feeling that it was a act out of sympathy, which is the last thing i need! hmmm...and yup, as i pondered upon it, i realised hmmm who am i to get irritated or angry? Why should i be? Why do i even care about what others think? Do i assume my God is dead? hmmm...for if He is there, why should i fret? and ya, it isnt my right anyway. Am i glorifying God by thinking of such thoughts?

hmmmm....reassured, i fell asleep not long after.

I went for the young adult service today, and...., something about what Ps Steven struck me. As i was sitting there listening, a thought keep reoccurring.

It was like asking me, "Dont you trust me? You gotta trust God!!!!"

wow. it was as if God was speaking directly to me. Sure i trust you. Or so i thought. Maybe my trust wasn't trust. Come to think of it,

how many times have i lived as if i dont need God?
how many times have i forgotten to give thanks for his blessings?
how many times have i taken things into my own hands? thinking i can do a better job than God?

"God is the best connector. We don't have to pull strings, we have a rope!"

and how often have we forgotten to trust God with all we have?

whenever you start to get cranky with others
sick of your life, green with envy, full of undesirable thoughts
allow yourself to think of God.

Unmerited Favour.
the favour of God.
Surely, we dont deserve it
But He still chooses to give it.

posted by ser @ 11:09 PM  

1. A Christian. Not only that, must be Christ-like, i.e. do what he believes and not just believe.
2. A heart of gold. I dont wanna live with an animal. worse, beast!
3. Honesty! of cos, the best policy! be true to me, even if u have lost the teddy bear i gave you, pls tell me.
4. Integrity. that is being true to oneself. behaves the same regardless of the situation or context. Of cos then his character must be top-notch first lah, notice i never use the word 'per--rr--fect'.
5. Responsibility. In whatever context he is placed in. A person who accept responsibility for his weakness, flaws and of cos, his responsibility for choosing me. DOnt dump me.
6. Confidence. A must-have. I need security. The person must therefore be secured. Have a good foundation. Confident of his choice...hee...that's me. I am the o--n--e--.....haha..
7. Charisma. I am very attracted to guys who are very cool and have their own styles. Plus their own beliefs and stands. Never waver kind. Can click well with others. Have a sense of personal style. Appreciate beautiful and beauty...ahem..
8. Sensitivity. I cant stand insensitive and tactless people. And no MCP! sensitivity to a girls's needs and wants is the way to go man!
9. Ambitious. I dont mean those building castles in the air kind. But guys who constantly strive for the best, do the best they can. Have altrustic goals in life. Willing to work hard for them.

Lastly, must click with my friends. means my friends must like him. If not, lose face! haha..and best if he's filial and adores kids! hmmm....and at least, be a person of humor. Must be able to tickle me. AND be able to laugh criticisms off, take my lame jokes but dont be lame. I am not looking for a Mister Bean Wannabe.

Hmm...that's not exhaustive huh? in addition to these 10, the most important i guess is chemistry and faith. Without chemistry, even the most perfect guy wont satisfy me. Without faith, it is impossible.

posted by ser @ 11:48 AM  

posted by ser @ 1:24 PM  

posted by ser @ 11:46 PM  

"Clank. Clank"
God is knocking at the room of pride. My pride.

If God got ahold of this room, I knew it was Dorksville for me.
"God" I remeber saying "If you come into this room, then i'm going to end up looking like an idiot!"

"Clank. Clank"

Then I had a stroke of genius!
"God! Someone may see me looking like an idiot. Someone who knows I am also a Christian. You wouldn't want that to happen! That might give you a bad name!"

Have you ever noticed God never loses a debate?

God made it clear to me in His ever gentle way that if He were concerned about his reputation, He would not have chosen someone like me to represent Him in the first place. And if He were pursuing popularity, he would not have allowed Himself to be hung naked between 2 thieves on a cross.




ps: If you ever found it hard to give up this area of your life to God, i.e your pride, i hope this will encourage you. Remember, God is interested in your character. when you give up that precious favourite fake pearl necklace that you hold so dear and give it to God, He replaces it with a genuine pearl necklace. the question you need to ask yourself is, are you willing to give up things you hold dear to receive something better from God?

posted by ser @ 12:09 AM   0 Comments

Attended 2 prayer meetings today. So basically i prayed for about 4 hours !!! have to admit it is quite tiring.....but i guess there is just so much that we can and should intercede for. and though the 2 prayer meetings were unrelated, there were some common themes i felt God is speaking to me. If u feel a burden for these themes too, let's pray together ya?

a sense of urgency to intercede



Faith to sustain, to prepare ourselves in times like this

posted by ser @ 11:35 PM   0 Comments

okay, dont think i am some angel. there are things and traits i absolutely detest and hate!

I Hate....

1) Bias people! like my hist tutor.
2) Period.
3) Bitchy girls and guys (guys do bitch i realise)
4) Wishy washy people (get straight to the point)
5) Great Pretenders (no man is saint. Admit ur weakness, mistakes. No one will condemn you but yourself)
6) People whom can't seem to get off my back. (seriously, i dont need anyone to suck up to me, flatter me, try to please me whatsoever. and no naggers, and no too many questions please!) Be Yourself! and let me be myself!
7) People who are selfish. like they only think about their own interest, couldnt care less about how others would fare
8) Calculating people. Misers! Like they expect u to pay them back 5cents that kind!
9) People who are super duper insensitive to others. If someone's cat has just died, dont say something like "no big deal, its just an animal!" for goodness's sake.....
10) Egoistic people. People who do not admit their mistakes or faults when it is so Obvious to the Oblivious them that they are WRONG.

okay, for the nicer things........I Like..

1) Ice-Cream. no particular brand. Mac ice-cream is fine! =)
2) Chocolates! erm...ferrero is nice! brueno, time-out, wafers, M&Ms
3) Humble folks. It takes a courageous and down-to-earth person to admit their faults. add in inspiring.
4) The Rich but down-to-earth. e.g. they eat in canteen, wear this fashion clothes, talk to modest folks like me.
5) Kind people. Hard to find isn't it? and not just nice, but KIND. To animals, to the frail, children, handicap, nasty people.
6) Confident and charismatic people. People full of faith but not full of themselves. People who exude charm and not try to 'charm' others.
7) And of cos, people who listen to me and understands. hmmm... i dont think it is hard to understand me, PROVIDED you really want to. and of cos, i must be comfortable first, b4 i reveal all my life to u!
8) Gentleman! Guys who'd hold the door even for the most unattractive girl. Kudos to that!
9) People who believe in me. Isnt it nice to have at least someone who believe in who u are, ur talents and abilities?
10) Babies, people who are a bit blur, the not-so-smart. Why? not bcos they are vulnerable and thus can bully, but bcos they have the innocence that the world seems to forgone in exchange for intelligence, rationality and strategising!

posted by ser @ 11:06 PM  

It was God who saw me through all these. God was the faithful one by my side. In Him, i have experienced love i would not otherwise have. In Him, I experienced a love so deep no one else could ever give me. In Him, i know i am loved and appreciated. In Him, i found the reason to live.

Thank You dear Lord. The world may be a cruel and heartless place but thankfully, a man Jesus changed it all. He not only gave peace, love, hope and joy. Most importantly, he gave life. A life reborn. Another chance. Another go. Another opportunity. To lead the better life. To keep on living. To keep on moving.

he restored my smile, brought me laughter, and offered me a life better than what i had. Life did not change for the better, miraculously after i received Christ, but it is true that his yoke and burden are light.
With God, I know I never have to walk alone.............again.

posted by ser @ 12:08 AM   0 Comments

I can't let myself wallow in self-pity anymore. I told myself. I can't keep on living like this. Anticipating, hoping, waiting for some miracle to happen. In the "social work" assessment of my case, i can see a pattern forming. It is tiring, disappointing abd disillusioning. I just didn't think i would want to go on living like that. It would only deprive me of a satisfying and abundant life that my Saviour has in plan for me to live.

Yes, being loved can really lift one's spirits, it really made my day, but i wondered whether i should be dwelling in that kinda shadow of love. I should be living, not dreaming rite? At times, i really wished we have made a clearer stand as to where our relationship stands, but then maybe it is my mindset that needs to be changed. Things wont change, people can.


ps: I hope this inspires some. sure, moving on or letting go is never easy. But it isn't worth holding on to something or someone who is not there anymore.

posted by ser @ 11:57 PM   0 Comments

Though she is not the star. she certainly made many heads turn! My cousin, Joey. So hot rite?

posted by ser @ 2:18 AM   1 Comments

Finally, finally and finally. ..i finished the history assignment. relief..yet i know three quarter of the paper is CRAP. erm...?? well...it's over!

and exams are coming.....

Work can never be ending ya?

Talking to a friend last week led me to think of this: can anything be accomplished without passion?

no right? and i guess when passion dies off, what is set out to be accomplished will fail.

Gotta Pray for more passion.

posted by ser @ 11:16 PM   1 Comments