Never been unloved; you too!

Another sleepless night..and a little prayer.

Monday, February 23, 2009

i really wonder why i always get insomia. :(

esp when i have work the next day. :( thats when it gets stressful !

after tossing and turning in bed, trying so hard to sleep, i thought of something and decided to blog abt it. So i got out of bed and switched on the laptop.

i dreamt of one of my cousins yest night. and in the dream he was being asked to do something which was dangerous and would harm him physically. though he was very reluctant to follow the instruction and had much fear, he knew he had little choice so he agreed.

after that i woke up. there was NO ending! as most dreams...and that was the most exasperating! but the fear and helplessness in his eyes left a deep impression in my mind.
i didn't think much of it after i woke up but just now as i was tossing and turning in bed, i was reminded of this dream, and my cousin.

:( is God trying to tell me something? My cousin is not a believer yet. In fact he is a Taoist, and follows the rituals religiously and is very much involved. its like his passion. he is a young chap, 17 this year if i remember correctly.

and now i'm feeling burdened for this cousin of mine. and what better way can i do now except to pray for him?

Dear Jesus,
i commit my cousin into your hands. although its only a dream and may not be true, but i know i'm burdened in my heart to pray for him bcos he does not know You yet. I pray that he will come to know You and accept You as his Lord and Saviour. I pray that You'll begin to open his eyes to see You, and to know You. That Lord too, in Your name, you will begin to tear down every evil stronghold in his life and those idols he worships. Lord, help him see that they are of no Gods at all, because there is only one true and living God and that is You. For Lord Jesus, you said "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." - John 14:6
So dear Jesus, i pray that you'll lead him to You. i pray that You'll reveal yourself to be the true saviour and protector of his life, that when difficult situations arise in his life, he'll know that you are with him and will protect him. Dear Lord, i commit him once again into your hands, believing by faith Lord you'll save him. Lord i thank you for placing this burden in me so that i can pray for him. In the most wonderful and glorious name of Jesus i ask, Amen.

i should talk to him or ask him out soon.

Delayed Response...

Sunday, February 22, 2009

I just cut my small toe and didn't even notice it, until i saw droplets of blood (which i thought was some red ink) on the floor.

diaozz.....! and later when i realised it was blood, and after i've checked myself, i still foolishly asked my sis, "Hey u bleeding ah? Why got blood?"

and she checked herself, and replied no, not me. Then she pointed to my toe, and said " It's you la."

and i tell you, i seriously had absolutely no awareness of the pain! although the cut was quite deep, and with much bleeding.

hmmm... is my nerve/brain working????

A prayer answered!

Sunday, February 08, 2009

i needed God's peace and clarity, and direction in where i am heading. these past few days i feel so unhappy... but i just cant seem to place a finger on it and explain why. maybe its the work that's piling up, and the weaknesses i see in myself, the struggle to strike a balance between stressing myself and getting the job done. just felt so down and dont have God's peace. felt confused and lost bcos i dont like to feel unhappy!

so when i went up for altar call during ya service just now, i couldnt put my unhappiness into words.. i just know that i needed God's peace. in that desperation for His peace, i knelt down. then Ps Esther came and prayed for me.

The things she prayed for me echoed the cries and struggle of my heart for God's peace admist all these emotions that i'm going thru. it is just so amazing they were the exact things i wanted to pray for myself but couldnt find the words. and its amazing bcos her prayer showed me that God knew and understood what i was going through. He knew I needed his peace. and just before she came to pray for me, i sensed His peace starting to fill me once again. and when she prayed for me, i was just speechless.

i'm just so thankful and amazed once again by Abba Father, through her prayer. so right there at the altar, God filled me with His peace again..and it feels so good to be found in God's soothing and sweet presence once again! It was an unhurried and sweet moment of time with the Lord! :)

its like i found my bearings again. :)

All glory to God!

A sweet smile.

:)

a smile can mean alot of things. but the sweet smile that i have on my face now glows from the joy and peace that i have in my heart.

i dunno how best to describe my feelings now, except a sweet smile on my face. a smile of gratitude, a smile of thankfulness, a smile of support and agreement, and a smile of amazement of how great God is.

i see our Abba Father in a clearer and greater big picture than before, that God is so much greater, so much glorious and so much more awesome than we can ever imagine! I'm richened
(if there's such a word) in my perspective of God, and gained new dimensions and volumes into the person of God which i have never seen before. Truly we serve a great and mighty God who fights our battles for us, who advocates, defends and protects us. He is a mighty God yet also a gentle healer and loving Father. He is so awesome and holy yet He chooses to be with us.

I just stand in amazement and thankfulness of this awesome God that we have, and a God who first loved us.

May we continue to see more and more of His glory revealed as we seek Him more and more.

All praise and glory to God! :)

Serene, 25, Christian
a sinner saved by God's grace.
a beloved child of God.
a social worker (youth).
a daughter.
a sister to 2 younger siblings.

"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." -1 John 4:10

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Lyrics | Chris Tomlin lyrics - Made To Worship lyrics

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