can i tell you honestly that i really wanted and wants to be ur friend?
would u believe me?
i know there's a slim chance u'll read this
and even if u do, u might just dismiss it
but can u believe me that i really wanted to be ur friend?
can u believe me, when i say i really care for a friend like u?
do u believe i
genuinely care?
ps: to those concerned, i am ok. just need an outlet to voice out my endless doubts regarding this. for those who think i am referring to them, most prob not. the person prob wont read this, and prob wouldn't think i know.
Make My Life A Prayer To You
Keith Green
Verse:
Make my life a prayer to you
I wanna do what you want me to
No empty words and no white lies
No token prayers no compromise
I wanna shine the light you gave
Through Your Son You sent, to save us
From ourselves and our despair
It comforts me to know You're really there
Chorus:
Well, I wanna thank You now
For being patient with me
Oh it's so hard to see
When my eyes are on me
I guess i'll have to trust
And just believe what You say
Oh You're coming again,
Coming to take me away
I wanna die and let you give
Your life to me, so i might live
And share the hope you gave me
The love that sets me free
Verse:
I wanna tell the world out there
You are not some fable or fairytale
That I've made up inside my head
You're God the Son and You've risen from the dead.
Chorus:
I wanna die and let You give,
Your life to me so i might live
And share the hope You gave me
The love that sets me free.
------------------------//-------------------------------
May the Words of My Mouth
May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart
Bless Your name, bless Your name, Jesus
And the deeds of the day and the truth in my ways
Speak of You, speak of You, Jesus
Chorus:For this is what I'm glad to do
It's time to live a life of love that pleases You
And I will give my all to You
Surrender everything I have and follow You
I'll follow You
Lord, will You be my vision, Lord, will You be my guideBe my hope, be my light and the wayAnd I'll look not for riches, nor praises on earthOnly You'll be the first of my heart
I will followI will followI will follow Youps: i love this song.....
btw anyone of u have the song lyrics to the song "Make My Life A Prayer to You"? i cant seem to find it on the net. if u have the mp3 or lyrics, can give me? thanks!
time to update ...if not i'll lose track of what i've done...i got STM , afterall...ha.
Been a busy one week for me....hectic. meeting up for prj discussions, editing proposals (this can take super long...trust me.), activities in church, a visit to imh. u know what's worst of all? It's the knowledge of knowing of the huge amt of work i have to do, yet have not done. so i feel so stressed... over something undone. hahaha...this is so ironic. i actually fuss over ...nothing?
Busyness is something all of us will face, or soon have to face.
Busyness takes us away from doing what we like to do/ want to do, to do things which we
Have to do.
Busyness can suck the life outta us, if we are not careful.
and i realise, busyness (like what Ps Ron said) can take us away from God. The devil does not mind us going to church, having fellowship with other Christians. What the devil tries hard at, is to take us away from spending time with God.
when was the last you spent time with God?i know for me, it has been a long while...
"busy but meaningful?"
received this beautiful piece via email from a frenz in church.....so wanna share this here.STILL HE WALKEDHe could hear the crowds screaming "crucify" "crucify"...He could hear the hatred in their voices,These were His chosen people.He loved them, And they were going to crucify Him.He was beaten, bleeding and weakened...His heart was broken,But still He walked.He could see the crowd as He came from the palace.He knew each of their faces so well.He had created them.He knew every smile, laugh, and shed tear,But now they were contorted with rage and anger...His heart broke,But still He walked.Was he scared?You and I would have been,So His humanness would have mandated that He was. He felt alone.His disciples had left, denied, and even betrayed Him.He searched the crowd for a loving face and He saw very few.Then He turned His eyes to the only one that matteredAnd He knew that He would never be alone.He looked back at the crowd, At the people who were spitting at Him, throwing rocks at Him and mocking Him and He knew that because of Him, they would never be alone.So for them, He walked.The sounds of the hammer striking the spikes echoed through The crowd. The sounds of His cries echoed even louder,The cheers of the crowd, as His hands and feet Were nailed to the cross, intensified with each blow.Loudest of all was the still small voice inside His Heart that whispered "I am with you, my Son",And God's heart broke.He had let His Son walk.Jesus could have asked God to end His suffering,But instead He asked God to forgive.Not to forgive Him, but to forgive the ones who were persecuting Him.As He hung on that cross, dying an unimaginable death,He looked out and saw, not only the faces in the crowd,But also, the face of every person yet to be,And His heart filled with love.As His body was dying, His heart was alive.Alive with the limitless, unconditional love He feels for each of us.That is why He walked.When I forget how much My God loves me,I remember His walk.When I wonder if I can be forgiven,I remember His walk.When I need reminding of how to live like Christ,I think of His walk.And to show Him how much I love Him,I wake up each morning, turn my eyes to Jesus,And I walk.Author UnknownIf you have never put your complete trust in the Lord Jesus Christ, there is no better time than the present. The Bible says that Jesus knocks at the door of our hearts and waits to come in. It is up to us whether we open that door and invite the Lord into our heart. He will never force Himself upon anyone because He has given us a free will to either accept Him or reject Him. Jesus says, "I am the bread of life: he that cometh to Me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on Me shall never thirst." (Revelation 3:20) (Deuteronomy 30:19) (John 6:35)
All this is from Gods Work Ministry : http://www.Godswork.org
jian dan jiu shi xin fu ma?.....huo xu ba...
have i made myself too many commitments? i find myself busier, and busier. I need time. I need my space. To think abt stuff, to reflect, to pray, to think clearly. Of
What i really want in life.
Who do i need.
how do i transfer head knowledge into action?
Knowing is one thing, applying is another.
I need to be still.
does things which are nice to look at, good?
does expensive things necessarily possess high value or are valuable?
This afternoon, i went to find my cousin at her workplace..to exchange jeans and to get a top she reserved for me.... then saw the cute guy again....haha....okay..be serious. Then i went to church...then went home for dinner and met up with Esmail and Andrew at Bakerzin, Fullerton. then we went Angus, and saw....Sammy. I dunno how to react when he came to our table and asked me how i am, good? I just nodedd my head and fake a smile.... i used to think he would have a harder time facing me, looks like i have a harder time facing him! and i was really avoiding....i have not really resolved or forgive.....hmmmm..it's me. not others. why i always think others are the one with the problem? without realising the problem is me......that i have a greater problem.... hmmm.....ya.
nice meeting up with my cousin, with Esmail and Andrew...
funni how, everyone else has been reading someone else's blog....hmmm.....
i felt burdened to pray for so many people last week.so overwhelmed.....and i prayed. but i realise it can never be enough. cos there's always someone out there who needs a prayer. and i can only do so much.
and today as Sharon shared about the dry land and a land full of water, i felt that God was speaking to us. There was a dam in between. The land was so dry. And for the water to flow thru, we have to break the dam. Just poke a hole maybe, and the whole dam will come crashing down. Water can then flow to the dry land.
Are we the dam?
"Do you know you are very fortunate? that a lot of people care about you?" -EsmailI know. most of the times, my problem is that i dunno how to receive them....
This is for u, ST, my friend. Really hope u'll find meaning in ur life soon. =)
You have been living ur life, the way u want it
You have tasted success, lived in its glory
You have also fallen, defeated and beaten
You have been heartbroken, pain that hurts so much
You have also had fun, excitment and adventure
You had been liked, by ur friends ur family
You have also been disliked, for no explainable reason
You have been searching for a meaning in life, a reason for living
You are tired of life, nothing worthy to seek
You thought all can only be darkess, sorrow and grief
You long to have someone love u or someone u can love
A long and painful wait, u cant bear each day
You have grown and matured, thru the trials that came
You have also regresssed, to sometimes being a child
Demanding for things u cant have
and having it all, and been thru it all
Have u ever wondered where u're headed to?
Who do u live for? is it worthy of ur call?
When u are down and out, who can be with u 24/7?
when u need someone, who can be there?
Life can be tiresome, without a faithful friend
But a friend is still human, can't always be with u
and life can be harsh, for no apparent reason
Do u need someone to hold u? To guide you? to lead u?
and be on ur side when world is against u?
And be for u, when the going gets tough?
i cant begin to tell u how great it is
To have a friend like Jesus
Who intercedes for You
and i can't tell u how much He loves you
For you, he gave all that he had
I can't tell you, how good he is
Your life, health, work, family and friends
All these he gave...
Sometimes u dont even know
But u can begin to know Him today
If u will take the step
He will do the rest
If u believe
He will come and bless
and what he can give, he gives u the very best
Afterall, he gave up all that he has
For you, He will.
i would like to leave u with these lyrics...
We were the reason that He gave his life
We were the reason that he suffered and died
To a world that was lost
He gave all he could give
To show us the reason to live
this reminds me of Sunday's sermon that Ps David mentions that we'll never know the power of God in us, unless we exercise it!!! How true is that? How would we know we can paint if we've never dare to pick up a brush before? How do we know our gifts and talents unless we use them? How do we know that we can study if we've never tried to read our notes?
and for the past few days, i'm just so excited abt the power of prayer! It was like, i prayed and the next minute, i see it come true before my eyes! It is so amazing....and it is true that we'll never know what God can do through us, unless we dare to do what God calls us to do in the first place!
I feel really honoured and privileged to be able to be God's vessel of blessing to others. A sense of joy always arises within me whenever i know that i've helped others, in one way or another. And through praying for people, God reveals to me his great love for his people, as well as His desire to use me, and for me to partake in his glory. woah.... sometimes, i don't understand how and why God will wanna use me? I'm not that holy (excuse me..), that well-versed in bible knowledge or spirit-filled (like speaking in tongues) nor am i an anointed leader.
But God calls me anyway...
Why? Because it is when i am weak, that He is strong. It is when i am weak, that i can be made strong by Him. It is when i am weak that my weaknesses can be made perfect. Amen.
and...God has the power to do what he had promised. Rom 4:21
sometimes when God calls us, we feel so inadequate, helpless or unworthy. But it is also true as what Ps David says, we are all inadequate! (anyway). God knows we are inadequate. Yet the difference lies in whether one is willing to step out in faith. only when u do that, do u experience God's power.
still don't believe the power of prayer, the power of God? Start praying today! God can work through u, if only u allow him to.
"Serene....i m so happy today. God answered my prayer and gave me opp to share gospel with my clinque who is a hard nut to crack. Praise God...." -an sms frm one of my church friends....
Do u believe that when u pray today, the sick will be healed, the blind will see and the lame will walk? That someone else's life will be different. that someone else will be blessed today. That someone else might be lifted out of depression?
and i'll say, u'll never know the power of prayer unless u pray..
I should admit that i'm old...seeing all my cousins all grown up, it's like they were children just yesterday. the growing up process is amazing..and i love all my cousins, and of cos the Tan family. All of my male cousins have matured so much that they are becoming gentleman in their own right. and finally knowing how to treat girls with respect! yes...and i'm so proud of them. Joey, Charlie, Marcus and Johnson. In fact, i see that Johnson has undergone a major transformation that all of us are so awed, and proud of him. It's really sweet to see him mature...and become a man. =) let's see what my sis has to say about Johnson.
"My cousin who is so so so into the teachings and practices of taoism actually attended church! Just imagine, he's like a devoted taoist and his house is somewhat like a chinese temple with all the figurines, filled with incense smoke etc. Man, I am shocked but I know that God is so good. And everything is in His timing. :) God is so awesome! This is the generation who will make a difference to the Tan family and its descendents! We are the generation and I'm so proud to be part of it!! :) :) "
God is sooo good....to us. This generation. At this rate, i'm confident, salvation for the Tans is not far away! *grins widely*
The X Generation!
Johnson and i. He has changed so much too! for the better. look, he's so man now...haha...and good-looking!
Joei and I. She's very amusing lor...plus naggy and KPO. haha....kan bu chu rite?
That's u! My sis (in green) and my two cousins, Dylan (middle) and Michelle (right). So cute..
Did i tell u he loves to take pictures? After taking pictures, he will be like "i want to see, i want to see!"
one of the cheeky moments.......
Joey and i. I think this is the only photo i've taken with him since, childhood. =)
Me and my younger Joeu. He has changed so much within a yr! His mum says its due Mac french fries.... oops.
The Tan's four princesses! oh, one more actually, my sister is not in.
there's something about me that few know about, and would prefer not to know. Well, it may be quite errie to some, depending on how u want to see it. many shudder at the thought.
ok how about if i tell u i dream about the future? and it comes true? are u staring in disbelief now?
at first i thought it was just a coincidence, but when it happens so often, i begin to think if my dreams could really be visions of the future. But of cos, i dont see 4D numbers, accidents or people dying! but things which are more mundane, everyday life thing. I remember i told Jess about this before, and she kinda freaked out. ha. who wouldn't! Sounds like i have some supernatural powers!
the down side about this is, i dunno when my dreams are visions and when they are pure fantasy. Well, of cos i hope the sweeter ones comes true.haha..but i really dunno. I can only let time reveal things. But i believe these dreams are also a confirmation of what God have in store for me. Like just last week i attended bible study conducted by Ps Betty for the 1st time, but it felt as if i have seen it happening in my dreams before! It felt as if i had been there before, which i HADN'T. so, its kinda weird, but at the same time, serves as a kind of affirmation. hmmmm....
So is it good or bad?
i dont know BGR anymore...........................the questions, the answers.Really grateful for the chat i had with Jeanie. Thanks gal, i had a great time too. You've reaffirmed my thoughts and actions. and u reminded me that some things cannot be shaken, cannot be compromised. and i'm glad we both concur on the issue. Let's continue to trust in our awesome God. (",)
I dunno if it is bcos i'm studying social work now that i'm exposed to this process of struggling. and i'm not talking about only myself. As i talk to the people around me and start to find out more about their lives, one fact that strikes me strongly is, all of them are struggling! With some issues in their lives, at different stages of their lives. Well, of cos the fact that everyone of us struggles is not new...however, how people cope with their struggles is amazing. It is like, you'll never get silver if it has not been thru fire! People who are resilient in times of struggles or suffering inspires me. Stories of how they overcame their struggles and emerge not necessarily victorious, but as a more wholesome and stronger individual. It is said that the "testing of your faith develops perserverance. Perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." -Jas 1:3-4
sometimes, we are not just struggling with our struggles. We struggle with the consequences of our struggles! Let say we fall into a deep hole and struggle to get out. So we keep jumping. After many tries, we find ourselves still in darkness. So we finally give up. We begin to think. We begin to feel afraid. Perhaps at this time, we will hear 2 different voices. "Oh, I am doomed. I think i can only wait to die here." OR " I am not going to die just like that. I wanna live!" Which thought will cause us the most struggle?
and if u just look ard u, how many u know are struggling? and how many u don't know are struggling? Are the NUMBERS staggering?
Emotionally, financially, physically, psychologically, socially, politically, culturally and spiritually.
All of us struggle. All of us may struggle with one or a few things, but we'll all struugle. There's no running away from. And why do we struggle?
Most of the time, it is bcos what we face is beyond what we can cope/ what we do not have is more than what we have/ what we want is not what we have/ what we need is not within reach/ what we desire is far away and lastly, what we hate is near.
okay, so we all cant escape from struggles...so what do we do?
" I can't help how i feel but i can help how i act."
i think of all the defense mechanisms i possibly know, that's the best.
i cant tell u how u can stop struggling bcos i don't know the answer too. No one can take away ur struggles, if u dont allow it to be taken from u. if u struggle with depression,and yet do not believe you will recover, will you ever be freed of depression?
You are struggling not bcos you are weak
You are struggling, for that's what will make you stronger.
At this pt, i dunno what i wanted to drive at when i decided to blog abt struggling. I guess i'm struggling with my brain now. ha.
Perhaps i just wanna encourage those of u who may be struggling in your lives now, regardless of what issues u are having internal conflicts abt, do not lose hope. Perservere! Hope that better things will come ur way! Clinche as it may sound -the rainbow appears only after the rain. In the midst of the rain, hope for the sun's rays.
Hope.
Perhaps one of the greatest and most powerful gift from God.
With hope, all things become beautiful.
Without hope, there is no life.
ps: in case u think i am asking u to hope for the impossible, no. I cant really tell u what not to hope for, for i believe in miracles. what i can say is that, Hope or hoping is not about getting or achieving what u dont have. Hope or hoping is about passionately living life to the fullest while u are waiting for better things to unfold in ur life. in short, it means, Live In Hope (LIH).
and i hope u'll move from Struggling----------> Hope
disclaimer: ok....in case u think some of the concepts here are copied from some psy or social work books, they are not. except for the quotes which are not mine, the rest of the content here are carefully thought thru based on my own experiences and learning. of cos, it is subjective. =)
went to watch "I Not Stupid" with Agnes. It was really a good show....really worth ur money. I rate it 5 stars!!! Well, Jack Neo never disappoints ya?
made me shed so much tears....sobz..
As i reflected upon my friendship with 2 of my friends, i was really ashamed. Ashamed of what, you ask. Ashamed of the way i treated them. Well, a friend indeed is supposed to help their friend be the best that they can be rite? Going by that, i've failed miserably. At least when it came to these 2 friends. Haiz....i feel that i haven't been a good friend to them, cos i hadn't wanted the best for them. I hadn't helped them become the best they can be. I dunno if my 2 friends know I'm talking about them. If you know, pls know that i'm really ashamed of my own behaviour. Pls do not base your self concept on how i think abt u, it is not impt.
Regardless of what i say, you are unique. There is only one of u on this planet. You are God's creation, a precious child of God. No matter how much i may have disappointed you, and have not believed in you, know that God does! God loves you, believes in you, and will not disappoint you!!!
As a child of God, you are more than worthy. Despite anything negative people say about you, despite all the nasty things that people have done to u, despite all the suffering or injustice you've borne.
You are worthy.
Lord, help me learn to be a better friend i pray. Help me to be a friend worthy to have. Help me to be truly a friend indeed. Help me know what it means and takes to be a true friend. Thank you Lord.
Today as Lindy and I worship God in the morning... I kinda got these impressions and as i penned them down, words filled the page. So i would like to share these thoughts with u guys.
Deeper In Love
Oh, how we longed to be deeper in love, with the ones we love
How we longed to love them more
And how we longed to love those we know love us.
God!
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, so that all who believe shall not perish, but have eternal life!
How great is that? What a truth!
Indeed God loves us so much, so so much
Lord, we can't comprehend how high, how wide and how deep is your love
Perhaps we only know Your love is sufficient for us
Perhaps we've forgotten what it is like to be loved
Or perhaps, we don't know how much you love us
Lord, I pray you show us
That you never once withheld your love from us
That you desire to love us
No matter what.
No matter where.
Lord I pray we'll remember & be reminded & be thankful for Your love
So freely given
So abundantly abundant
I pray we will not take Your love for granted, take your name in vain.
And Lord, we love you.
Not by our own abilities, for it is You who gave us love, that we are able to love.
We'll never be able to love you as much as You do
But Lord, we know
You'll always love us.
It's kinda weird that i seem to feel those feelings that i haven't been feeling for quite a while. It's WEIRD. I guess it has been a long time, that's why. seems...
I don't like to force people thou. It's their business to choose. and i wouldn't want to be in any way that might seem imposing. Neither do i like to ask people to do things that is against their will. I believe in giving choice. So it's just a matter of others making the right choice. =)btw how do u differentiate a guy who's just being nice to a gal and a guy who likes the gal?Experts, pls let me know. i have a tough time.
have i already hurt you? even thou i said i don't wanna hurt anyone..?
The X Generation!
Johnson and i. He has changed so much too! for the better. look, he's so man now...haha...and good-looking!
Joei and I. She's very amusing lor...plus naggy and KPO. haha....kan bu chu rite?
That's u! My sis (in green) and my two cousins, Dylan (middle) and Michelle (right). So cute..
Did i tell u he loves to take pictures? After taking pictures, he will be like "i want to see, i want to see!"
one of the cheeky moments.......
Me and my younger Joeu. He has changed so much within a yr! His mum says its due Mac french fries.... oops.
The Tan's four princesses! oh, one more actually, my sister is not in. 
