I was no one when i first met you
I had nothing of worth in my life
But then i found you and it all became clear
You're the one that i've been searching for
From the start i couldnt figure it out
Why someone like you would die for me
But i know that your love for me is so great
And that is why im giving you my life
I am yours every part of me
Jesus you're the reason i live
Take my life lord and use me as you will
Jesus you're the reason i live
I can't believe that you're with me til forever
I'll never leave you and you'll never leave me
It's what i long for your presence here in my life
Cos you're the air i breathe my reason why
-adapted from Jia Yan's blog
26th FEB 2005
went Animal Resort with children from MINDS and several NUS volunteers.
went there together with Jess.
It was my and Jess's first time there.
ANIMAL RESORT. MINDS KIDS.
it was a fresh and enriching experience. After i overcame my fear of animals, i found myself following the kids around the farm. One thing that struck me was the fact that the kids clicked really well with the NUS volunteers. Their bonds were evident. As these kids had intellectual disabilities, many of them could not verbalise what they want and what they see. However, when they saw the various animals, the horse, the goat, goose, chicken, rabbit, fish and puppy, their curiousity and excitment showed on their faces.
One boy kept gesturing to me with his hands about something he had seen. The volunteer attached to him explained to me that he was telling me about the puupy getting its hair cut! (there was a grooming room for the animals there) When he gestured to me the second time, i got what he had wanted to say and replied; "Ya, puppy getting its hair cut."
=)
In fact, they attached me to this 11 year old boy, Jason. He looked very normal among the kids with down syndrome. Later as i inquired, i found out that he is actually a high functioning kid who just have below average IQ. As i interact with him throughout the one hour or so, he made me feel very comfortable when i was the one who was supposed to make him feel comfortable. He held my hand whenever he went and rattled on to tell me about the animals he saw.
All in all, i liked the kids. Even though it was my first outing with them, i found that i did not have any difficulty interacting or talking to them. Yes, i may not understand what some of them are trying to say but i guess all they want are people who truly care for them and are willing to take care of them (things which they themselves are not capable of doing).
These kids are so cute and lovable to me. They may not speak, may not be able to pinpoint what they want or tell others how they really feel, but whatever they can do or say, they do with the best of their abilities and do so, with sincere and humble hearts.These, are the qualities which are so hard to come by nowadays.
(PS: hey guys, if u are interested in caring for these kids, let me know. The NUS volunteers will be meeting every sat, 2.30-5.30pm at MINDS, Yio Chu Kang.)
for being in my life
even if once
thank you for your smses
they gave me a glimpse into Christ-likness
even if that's what i suppose that's who you are
thank you for the meet-ups
they were so brief but sweet
thank you for the little things you did
like squeezing the chilli
buying food
waiting..
thank you for the darnest things you say
when between Clementi and Boon Lay
you said the latter was nearer NUS.
thank you for that phone call
the only one you made
it came when i was at my lowest
i thot i had lost the ability to laugh
but your call changed it all
thank you for the first movie
it was Infernal Affairs i remembered
it was awkward for you and me
thank you for the taxi ride from boon lay to tanglin road
the time when we chatted with the interesting non-believer taxi uncle
the time when you said "will have chance one." (to meet again)
thank you sending me home
i didn't really quite expect that to happen
you talked but i was just glad to listen
the msg after that was so heartwarming you know
thank you for the east coast trip
you sacrified sleep and movie
to take bus all the way with me to east coast from PS
and the talk we had
i never knew i could talk so comfortably with you
i was really touched you know
thank you for being you
when you're with me
***(there are so many things i wish i could tell you. but i guess the only thing i could say now is to wish you all the best. And that you'll cont to walk with God ever so closely. The God who crossed our paths. The God who made us friends. for that alone, i'm ever grateful.)
just changed my phone to a siemens A65. It's high time lah, that 8250 phone had been with me for 2yrs+. anyway...
bu zai hu tian chang di jiu, zhi zai hu chen jing yong you.
Question is: did i ever yong you?
As i look back, i remembered events which were so sweet then but bitter now. It's like drinking a sweet syrup and then, 5 secs later,you get a bitter aftertaste.
So, was it sweet or was it bitter?
to counteract that, it seems, someone coined the term "bittersweet".
and what a strange expression!
How can something bitter be sweet, and something sweet be bitter?
i'm not trying to go into a discussion of that, just the point that life can be such a big irony at times.
How something bad can turn good
How something good can turn bad
How something sweet can taste sweet at that moment
How after a while, that same sweetness can become bitter.
and who, having tasted sweetness, can stand bitterness?
i blogged. you commented:Hmm.. jus a few cents' worth from me..
Su Teck
2 cases:
1st case: If he's generically (i.e. inborn) gay, then i think there's not much of a choice. Den i believe that he himself doesnt want to be gay in the 1st place, but his sexual construct forces him to be one. I guess u'll jus hafta face this issue more openly and accept naturally who he is.
2nd case: If he CHOOSES to be a gay, then maybe u can dissuade him during casual conversations when u happen to touch on this topic. U can *casually comment* some discouraging facts like, "2 guys cannot have a baby, and it's a joy to have babies" etc. Lead him to ponder over the joy that he'll forego wif a male partner. Hafta do it tactfully, since it's sensitive.
Jus suggestions. hee.. =)
2:04 AM
sDiEnDo said...
I'm sorry, but no one is born gay. It is a choice to be gay. I have a fact book on homosexuals. remind me to pass it to you, yah? It takes inner conviction.. :)
5:54 PM
Anonymous said...
No one is born gay. -period-. Like freedom fighters, the "born gay" theory is the compromise of standard for the acceptance of the world. The world wants to hear what they want to hear. It is in the mind. If you keep thinking you are gay, you will be. Your upbringing plays a big part too. If the mum or dad is a bi, the likelyhood of the child being a bi is very high. Monkey see Monkey do. "Generation curses" like that is passed down from one generation to another... but God is there to deliver us from the curses through Jesus. If we accept his saving grace and absolute power over darkness.
---
Romans 1:18-32
The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities–his eternal power and divine nature–have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.
For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles.
Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator–who is forever praised. Amen.
Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.
Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, Godhaters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.
----
Giving people over to their own sins is one of God's divine judgement.
Number one - love him like how you would to your closest of friends. Homosexuals are normal people like you and me, worthy for chirst to die for.
Pray that he will be able to accept God. Then the love for his holy God will encourage him to turn from his ways.
Phew - This a very long comment!!!
-matt
8:56 PM
Anonymous said...
Gays and lesbians are cool! at least, they're not hypocritical abt their likings. haha. c'mon manz, they're just humans with exotic preferences. treat them like normal humans. dun treat them like some sort of aliens visiting Mother Earth.
Juz becaz they dun fit into society norms, that doesnt mean they're not humans. stop using tainted glasses to view them manz!
It's just a matter of preferences, relax everyone. if u like soy bean and majority likes jelly beans, am i suppose to dissuade u and persuade u to join the jelly bean club?!
~miruku~
3:36 AM
PS: What's your view?
My friend's gay.
I want to dissuade him but what should i do?
How do i approach the issue with him?
There are times in life when
I cry
I laugh
I struggle
I stumble
I fell
I failed
i delight
i rejoice
i sing
i understand
I don't understand
the times in life are so unpredictable
like a swinging pendulum
sometimes left, sometimes right
sometimes high, sometimes low
however when God's there in between
he acts as the balance
between the sad and the glad
the bitter and the sweet
the extreme up and the extreme down
He turns darkness into light
He brings justice to where there's injustice
He lifts the poor and despises the proud
He frees us from the bondages of the sin
He helps us against the devil's lies
He loves me and you
the world may get me down but i know my Lord will lift me up!
That was the sermon preached yesterday in youth service by one of the band members in ~alternate frequency~, a Malyasian Christian band.
Doesn't that name alone makes you look twice and wonder why?
It's a Malaysian Christian band.
When they shared with us about their experience, i was amazed at what God was raising up. A group of Christian in Malaysia. A group who's able to impact and save souls. A group dedicated to make his name known. A group dedicated to the work that God planned to have done in Malaysia.
As you all know, Malaysia is a Islamic country. For Christians to have open evangelism or to even have outdoor performances is highly prohibted and kept after control. All Christian related stuff are prohibted by the media. So, it was really a miracle when they told us that one of their praise and worship song actually got played on air!!! After which their band songs were banned from air, but guess what they were asked to perform and sing that song afterwards on a easter sunday!!!
How God is moving is really amazing, evident.
God's now moving in Malaysia. i never thought he would be there! afterall, Malaysia's still a predominantly Islamic country. How can anyone possibly do any work there? but i'm glad God has a greater plan. A plan of such magnitude.
Let us pray for God to continue his mighty work in Malaysia. pRAY THAT more Malaysians will come to be saved through the people he has called. Pray that Malaysians will turn to Jesus and acknowledge that he's the king of kings and the Lord of Lords. Pray that there will be a great revival in Malaysia. A revival and stirring of the people's hearts for God, hearts that are open to him. Pray that they will come to understand and know and love the only true and real God, Jesus. Pray that all Christians in Malaysia will be united in Christ's cause and press on despite persecution and difficulties. Pray that they will be rooted in God's word and be able to see God's greater vision for Malaysia and be part of it. Pray that they will have faith that move mountains and touch hearts, that they will experience God in all the circumstances they face. Help them be strong in you Lord. Thank you Lord. In Jesus's mighty name i pray, amen.
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Do you think that you're a failure
That you cant study
Don't seem to excel in anything
Aint as good as others
You think you won't ever achieve anything you want
You feel that you've never done anything right in your life
and your life's a mess you can't handle
You feel so small compared to others
Others seem to dislike you
They tell you you don't get even a simple thing right
They say you do it all wrong
Are you feeling small today?
Do you feel you can never be someone great, do something great?
Do you tell yourself "i'm nothing."?
That's how you see yourself.
DO You want to know what God see when he sees you?
"yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become (you are)children of God."
"Be imitators of God, therefore, as (you are) dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."
-Eph 5:1-2
"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful night."
-1 Pet 2:9
It's only when you see what God sees, that you know He turns impossibility into reality.
If you think that you are nothing,
Let God make you something.
"..because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world."
Dearest Papa,
how are you doing? hope that you are doing better and feeling better than you are here in Singapore. Don't worry about the 3 of us, we are coping well. Ah boy still very naughty but we can still 'tahan' him. Ah pei and i are doing fine. I think she will be getting her A levels result on the 7th of Mar so you can call and ask her that day! I'm doing fine, studying and working part-time at one fullerton. So don't worry about us. Just concentrate on your work there. We hope you can join us back in Singapore soon!
Papa, even thought you are in Shanghai and we all in Singapore, i believe that we will be reunited soon, as a family.
Remember, papa, that if you are feeling down/sad or unhappy, turn to God. You know Jesus right? Yes, he is God. Let him be your refuge in everything. He loves you too.
Take care Daddy! Love you!
May God always be with you,
Serene
21/2/05
all the months of guessing, anticipating,secretly hoping, fantasizing and worrying are finally coming to an end. Before the appointed time was up, i decided to msg him. So i msg him, telling him that he's not obliged to wait and that he should actually move on, saying it would be unfair to expect him to wait. and then the answer came as a 'bomb':
"i realise that i cannot make a commitment to you. I'm sorry..."
'bomb' as in i didn't quite see it coming. i thought i would be the one letting him down, waste his time spent waiting. but little did i expect him to feel the same way too.
I feel like an idiot all over again. for those who know the full story, it has been a long and unsettling ride for me. Thanks for being with me through the unsettling and worrying moments.
Times when:
I struggled to make decisions, struggled to accept them and then struggled to keep to them. phew, a long long ride the Lord has taken me on.
We're still friends, mutually.
Guess that's the best we could be now.
the future? i aint too sure. seems like that's mutual too..
Whatever the future holds, at this point in time, i feel empowered once again to face whatever it throws at me.
Yes, i may be saddened for a while. but i believe i will stand on my feet soon.
Lord, You take charge of my life once again. help me to face whatever life throws at me, knowing that You will see me through. With the faith you've given me, help me to be bold and hopeful once again, so that i may move on to do the things you've set for me with gladness and willingness. Lord, your will. Nothing else. You hold me Lord. In Jesus's precious name i pray, amen.
You wonder at the above statement.
Irony?
Listened to a cd on ANTINOMIANISM by Rev Kong Hee (CHC)just now and it made me think about what is the basis of a Christian''s faith? Who's really a Christian? Is a Christian living as a Christian?
ANTINOMIANISM REFERS TO THE BELIEF THAT GOD'S GRACE HAS FREED CHRISTIANS FROM OBEYING THE LAWS AND COMMANDMENTS OF GOD, ESPECIALLY THE TEN COMMANDMENTS. People who have this belief fall into the trap of legalism- they follow hwat the law says but don't understand the spirit of the law. They obey the rules without the right attitude of heart.
e.g. When you forgive, do you know why you have to?
e.g. When you love your neighbour as yourself, do you know why you are told to do so?
the bible said so? your pastor said so?
How about the Pharisees? They followed the laws, they observed Sabbath's day, they are the leaders in synagogues, they lead God's people and they give one-tenth of thier income to the church. Why then are we told not to follow the way of the Pharisees?
"These people come near to me with their mouth
and honour me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me.
Their worship of me is made up of rules taught by men." -Isa 29:13
"i hate, i despise your religious feasts;
I cannot stand your assemblies.
Even though you bring me burnt offering and grain offerings,
I will not accept them.
Though you bring choice fellowship offering,
I will have no regard for them.
Away with the noise of your songs!
i will not listen to the music of your harps.
But let justice roll on like a river,
righteousness like a never-failing stream!"- Amos 5:21-24
are we merely following law? are we the Pharisees?
rem Gal?
"...so we, too, have put our afith in Jesus Christ that we may be justified by faith in Christ and not be observing the law, because by observing the law no one will be justified." -2:16
i remember an incident when my manager told me to work during Christmas eve, that the co is offering $10 an hr for the day. I declined the offer, saying that i'm attending service in church. She retorted, "I'm sure your God wants you to earn money as well." For a while i was stumped. "ya.. its money you know. God wants us to prosper right, surely work can earn more money' i thought to myself. it was so tempting then to work. Till my friend reminded me that "...cannot serve both money and God."-matt 6:24
How timely! cos i was almost bought into my manager's suggestion that i contemplated working, till i was refered to what the bible really says about money.
what my manager said sounded very logical and right, it falls in with the idea that God's good, his grace's sufficient. But we also need to remember that what he really said in his word. A lotta times, the world's thinking make so much sense. How often have u hear people saying, "dont worry lah, your God will bless you. Dont have to do anything, trust him to provide." "dont go church for one sun is okay lah, can always go the next time."
Unless we know His word, what it really means, we can stray easily to what the world says and offers.
why are you following the ten commandments? why are you following the law? are you putting your faith in the ten commandments and waiting to claim your reward as promised in the bible when you meet God?
or are you puuting your faith in Christ?
What is the basis of your Christian faith?
What do you base your faith on?
may i leave you with this:
"Not everyone who says to me,'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven."-matt 7:21
guess this post was long overdue.. CNY's gonna be over in 5 more days!
Cny's an even i always look forward to every yr, without fail. I love the gathering. I love the food. I love the activities that our group of cousins always do. I love the 'catching-up' with my relatives. I love seeing my baby and toddlers cousins, they are so cute!
and,
i love the way everything seems to converge on that new yr eve after diverging for the rest of the 364 days.This yr was no exception. Esp the food. EVery yr, my grandma (paternal) would get up super early on the eve and prepare the reunion food. And she's 72 this yr. I hope she continues to do so every yr but i also know she's getting old. So i really appreciate her presence even though i dont tell her. I do not want to take her granted. She's forever our loving grandma.
The head of the family since Grandpa died 15 yrs ago. She's the one who single-handedly held the whole family together. The sons, daughter and the grandchildren. She's the one who never fails to call her sons and grandchildren to remind them to come for dinners, celebrations. She's the one who planned her own bdae celebration and informed her children and grandchilden to attend. She's the one who encourages her grandchildren when parents are not capable to do so. She's the one whom ask her grandchildren about their BGRS, studies, life and family. She's one whom all her grandchildren feel comfortable to talk to. She offers her grandchildren advices beyond what parents can give. She's proud of all of her grandchildren.
She's all we have. She's all she can ever be, to us."Grandma, we love you."
Dear God, i pray for Grandma's salvation. Dear God, touch her. Let her know You are good to her. Help her know you. Reach out to her. Bring her to you Lord. Help us as grandchildren to continue to love, respect and care for her the way we should. Lord, help her find you. Save our loving Grandma, O God. Thank you Lord. In Jesus's name i pray. Amen.
looking at the stars again...
under the same sky?
hey hey Ip1gl3tI!
i know i haven't been free each time u asked, till the movie meeting.
It's not you.
It's me.
hey.. it's me lah, i've been real busy since school started, my work and stuff. and though valid, i know they are but excuses. I'm sorry if i've hurt u in any way. forgive me k. I'm not avoiding you or anything, just that i cant afford to spend the amount of time i used to, with you.
but that doesn't change our friendship, this i promise. =)
I seek your understanding
Though i have no time for you
It doesn't mean your friendship means nothing to me
from,
Your church-loving friend
i dunno what others spend their hundreds on but
i spent my 100 on FOUR worship CDS!!!!and i'm so excited!!!
i'm be giving two away. 2 to keep.
in case you're wondering which ones..they are;
1) 2 Integrity's i Worship -NEXT (latest, according to the sales person)
2) Hillsong-Blessed
3) WOW WORSHIP
and ya, changed my blogskin. cos had enough of the previous one, real user-unfriendly. hope to personalise this. =)
tata for now..
went to Ms Yip's (my secondary school Chinese teacher) house yesterday to bai nian and had lunch with her. Su Yin, Patsy, Joyce, Lilian and i went to visit her but only Patsy, Su Yin and i went lunch with her as Lilian and Jojo got OTHER commitments. haha.
And Ms Yip treated us to abalone lor!!! (SEE THAT, JOYCE?) haha.. ya, she's really generous. I guess she's like our godmother to pamper us like that. After yesterday, i find that she's really a open-minded and optimistic person, she is firm in her advices. She makes a lotta sense! Like she told me¡
爱 是 不 可 以 用 时 间 来 衡 量 的 。
which i realise is very true! all along i thot that love is measured in terms of time. How long you've liked that person etc etc. But after what she said, i realised that i was wrong all this while. hmmm.. really enlightened le.. haha.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
yest YA service made me realise how much i've been complaining all this while. How much i hated work. How i much hated the uni workload. How much i hated projects. How much i hated life.
I guess it's time for me to start thinking about the things of God. Stop compaining. I should be contented with whatever God has given me, instead of complaining. Yes, i should be content. I should always see God above my circumstances. I should always remember i'm doing things not for man but for Him who called me. I should do everything for his glory. I should want to seek and remember Him in all that i do. Be content with what he has given me.
"Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights of the world." -Phil 2:14-15
Recently, the thought of quiting my job at black angus keep coming up. Yest was like the breaking point. First, it was the 'roll call'. Basically, it's a briefing session by the supervisors and managers before we start work. And after the supervisor informed us about the routine stuff, it was my manager's turn to speak. I think i was over sensitive but i can't help thinking that he was picking on me. He was nagging on and on about our behaviour at work and so on. Telling us for the umpteen time not to group together to talk etc. As he was going on about his 'lecture', i was actually very irritated. So we cant group together to TALK. So if we wanna talk we have to stand SIDE-BY-SIDE. So we cant LAUGH loudly. So the reason why he said he kept repeating all these to us was cos we don't understand what he says, even his child understand what he says but we don't. So if we can't comply, we can leave anytime, the company does not depend on us. SO...
Haiz...so i was like pissed lah. So naggy. He always find fault, looks at the imperfect. But never appreciate or commend effort. Suddenly felt so unappreciated. Then what's the point of working so hard? Trying to please the customers, giving them what they asked for, maintaining the smile behind the tiredness, bearing with hunger, exhaustion or discomfort at work, trying to commit to at least 3 days of work each week despite the heavy uni workload. Doesn't all these count? For something at least? So if not, why do i even bother to work?
He said : "you can actually leave the company if you can't comply. You don't want to work, there are many people wanting to take up the job."
Secondly, i almost quarrelled with my supervisor. Customer wanted to order a glass of wine but i wasn't familiar with the wine selling by glass. When i asked my supervisor, he tole me that the wine that the customer wanted was actually wine sold by the bottle, not glass. So i asked him to go ask the customer what he wants since i wasn't sure. Then he told me about the glass and bottle thing, remarked that i should have worked long enough to know about all that. He was asking me how come i don't know and i was trying to tell him that i haven't sell enough wine to know. He said i had no excuse for not knowing. When my colleague tried to tell him that i was only a part-timer, he told her that even part-timers should know everything.He then told another supervisor about it and the other supervisor agreed with him. And after that he hurriedly went to ask the customer.
haiz... my fault again ah?i dont understand. I'm so sick of all the blaming, telling-off , criticising, nagging, accusing, harsh words, sarcasm and threats.
what's the point of trying to commit to this job? What's the point of even trying? Do anyone ever appreciate?
all these are making me wanna QUIT.
but i didn't tell anyone except Jess who retorted: " Aiya, managers are like that one, you go anywhere also the same."
Sadly, it's true.
Seriously, i'm sick of the job already. =(
On second thoughts, quitting might not be a wise choice.
meanwhile, just let me rant....
hey Su Teck! good question. hmm... ur comment on the running and walking part reminded me of a sermon that my Pastor gave. He talked about stages in our lives that we may experience; sometimes we may "fly" or soar as in feel very good. at other times, we run, we just wanna finish the race. and at others, we cant soar or run and this is the time where we can just walk. But he told us to keep on walking, cos when life is the hardest, even taking a single step is enough. we just have to take a step forward.
and in the bible, In Isaiah 40:31,
"but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."
and to ur qn : So.. u hate running, but will u still continue to run? Or do u wanna walk it?
hmmm... i really hate running u know, yes u hit jackpot. so i guess when i cant run anymore, i'd walk. and when i've found the strength, i'd run again. afterall, life's too short to be walking all the time right? ha.. my three cents worth here... =) thanks for ur comment. really appreciate it. makes me think. good good. :+)
