all the months of guessing, anticipating,secretly hoping, fantasizing and worrying are finally coming to an end. Before the appointed time was up, i decided to msg him. So i msg him, telling him that he's not obliged to wait and that he should actually move on, saying it would be unfair to expect him to wait. and then the answer came as a 'bomb':
"i realise that i cannot make a commitment to you. I'm sorry..."
'bomb' as in i didn't quite see it coming. i thought i would be the one letting him down, waste his time spent waiting. but little did i expect him to feel the same way too.
I feel like an idiot all over again. for those who know the full story, it has been a long and unsettling ride for me. Thanks for being with me through the unsettling and worrying moments.
Times when:
I struggled to make decisions, struggled to accept them and then struggled to keep to them. phew, a long long ride the Lord has taken me on.
We're still friends, mutually.
Guess that's the best we could be now.
the future? i aint too sure. seems like that's mutual too..
Whatever the future holds, at this point in time, i feel empowered once again to face whatever it throws at me.
Yes, i may be saddened for a while. but i believe i will stand on my feet soon.
Lord, You take charge of my life once again. help me to face whatever life throws at me, knowing that You will see me through. With the faith you've given me, help me to be bold and hopeful once again, so that i may move on to do the things you've set for me with gladness and willingness. Lord, your will. Nothing else. You hold me Lord. In Jesus's precious name i pray, amen.
