When will you stop thinking of a person, but start thinking of God?
Got that from Esther's blog and of all the verses that she listed, that particular one spoke to me. So clear that i keep looking at it. It applies to me!!!
oh...
I rem the period shortly after i accepted Christ. I experienced so much of God's love, mercy, greatness and power to a point where i wasn't short of testimonies to give. and i felt blessed sharing them. esp to Esther, Joyce, Su Yin and cell. And that was the time where i know God's real.
and time flies...
now, i .. ..
seems to experience God less and less. i dont feel the same excitment and enthusiasm anymore. doesnt feel the same anymore.. i think God's loosening the reins on me, to test my faith, to mould me, to shape me. It can be trying at times where i dont even feel Him but i know he's there watching. He will not give me any temptations i cannot overcome. yes..
Today svc reminded me of something i have yet to do. Forgiveness. Funni. As we were worshipping, i sorta feel that i cant worship wholeheartedly and as i knelt down, " forgive, just as your Father in heaven forgave you.." came to me.
so i asked God to deal with me.. to help me..
Then the sermon talked abt the exact verses.. apt.
Then Pastor Ron touched on "praying with a forgiving heart." again so apt.
Then the altar call for pple who have not forgive that someone in their lives. man.. so apt.
Looks like God's really dealing with me now!
(",) guess i'll have to start thinking of God more often!
CELL
It was good. Thou it was only the 8 of us, we had fun. As we gathered for fellowship at sis jo's house today, memories flooded back. Memories of us having fun, fooling around, crapping, making fun of one another and sitting down in a BIG grp on sis jo's living room floor. How long have we had a BIg grp?
How long have we real fellowship?
I was really lost for words having been reminded of the fond memories i had with my cell. I really missed those days and today, i was like reliving those days again. How nice it would be to have that every cell meeting..
How nice..
and God answers prayers. i believe if we continue to press on, God will provide and nourish. Amen.
gotta thank Jeanie for her effort in organising! and Sis Jo for the sumptious dinner! The browies were yummy! Thank cell! Thank God!!
Happy~ cos there's a God who cares!!
fri
no sch. din do much. bumming ard the house. stoned in front of tv.
just realised that my bro is one cool guy man! He limped all the way to sch! Not a sarcasm, but i admire his enthusiasm. passion. He din attend sch but he went for some rehearsal. And as i accompanied him to buy some stuff later in the night, he told me he wanted to walk cos he thought he might have a easier time the next day! to think he thought of that! I dunno what happened to his leg. what a sis rite? but he told me his tiniest toe hurt.. internal injury.
hmm.. he made me learn something thou.. when was the last time i was so passionate abt something despite injuries or difficulties? i cant rem, must be a long time ago.
Quite proud of my bro.. i seldom talk abt him but without my little bro, i dunno how i'm gonna live!
i LOVE my family!!!!!!!!!
Each of them has their own quirky traits. Irritating, disgusting, naggy and unreasonable but nevertheless lovable.
They say love's an act of will.
i think i've got the "no-matter-how-much-i-sleep-still-not-enough-sleep" syndrome..
is there such a thing?
ZzzZZZ....
I dunno what i'm suffering from. These few days i have been feeling pain on one side of my head, do u call that migraine? and it will last for the whole day, no matter how long i sleep, the pain never seems to subside. and its disturbing cos that means i cant get any work done.. haiz.. think i'll go see a doc if it doesn't go away in a few days.
I'm eating preservatives as i'm typing this. Yes, I am.
I am having indigestion!!
Only slept 4 hrs yest thanks to that! get indigestion easily.. either that or diahrrea... my stomach really weak man..
Sis: "Nvm, I'm pretty in Jesus's name."
Me: silent
Sis: "and you are supposed to say Amen!"
Me: "oh.. A-m-e-n!"
If u dont know, my sis is a pre-believer.. rite now she has been attending New Creation with her friends. I hope her enthusiasm stays! anyway, i'm soo excited and thankful alreadi!! Praise God!!
Rite now every nite at 11, will be praying for my cell. If u know me or my cell, u're ever welcome to pray for us. Pray for directions. Pray for revival. Pray for strength and unity in Christ. Thanks a million!!
Love ya..
Su, it aint you i'm referring to. :)
Anyway, some pics @ sentosa. The day we became lobsters... hehe...
we call him Liang. Liang Zhi. The guy we went Sentosa for. The guy now in NS. YeS, THE GUY.
Who's winning? the one who tried so hard is my couz, joey. haha.. pretty striking pants i would say!
I think i look my smile look a bit spastic here.. yin, ever cool lor..
Cool sia. Like gearing for a fight eh? hehe.. introducing my chc pple! COOL!
i thot this was very well-taken. Thanks to Matt! Definitely 1 of my fave photos! band i wasnt even aware when it was taken! CAnDiD!
Look how i managed to capture one of ur beautiful moments? hehe.. PRETTY.
shouldn't have gone Katong today. Damn it. Damn gluttony. Damn me.
Jess, i'm sorry for making the atmosphere so tense. that's just the side of me i think i cant change. anyway, sorry. feel so bad cos u r so innocent. sorry for any inconvenience caused. dont have to worry, i know how to handle the matter.
Why didn't i heed the call?
"Seek ye first the Kingdom of God.."!!!
I feel so stupid, so silly. More than anything else, i am angry at myself!!! ,
Serene Tan, u are so STUPID!!
but i know God still loves me... hehe.. the imperfect, silly, stupid me...
if u like her, say lah. Liar! I hate liars!!!
thank god i dont like u...
dance synergy's over for me. I cant dance.period.
it's demoralising seeing people do the things that u cant so well, despite starting out on a equal level.
I've realised that trying does not guarantee success all the time. Some things you just need talent. I guess i'm just not cut out for dance. hmm.. its impt to know where my talents and giftings lies then.
I reckon my email to cell was abit too harsh.. but i really dunno what goes on behind the scenes. and if there was really any pressing issues, the best way to seek help would be from the chc or youth leaders. Yes spiritual help. I cant think of any other more effective solutions. but sadly, many choose to solve their problems their own ways, thinking that no one can help them. Not even God. and btw who dont have problems? everybody face problems everyday! but how come still got pple come for cell? does that mean that they dont have problems? Far from it!
Our problems can draw us close to God! that's why God gave us problems! Not to stumble us but to make us rely on His power! thru faith that is. Maybe some pple do not have enough faith.. it's sad..
but i believe if u allow God to change u, He will. Just like how i used to have so pittance faith and now having much more. U have to use faith to gain faith. I believe we all can.
while, let's pray...
PS: Matt, if it is possible, can u email me the sentosa pics? my emails's flower_haven@hotmail.com. Thanks a lot dude!
What better way to show it? PEACE!!
Queenly Status.
Blow.. all our troubles AWAY!
18/8/04
Met Su Teck at swaps table today. i actually passed by there three times and three times i saw him there. but i bet he doesn't know.. cos only the 3rd time we had eye contact. Told me he was very shagged. ya judging by the duration he was in sch, must be lor..
Then saw Lydia twice in a day! So coincidental rite? hmm.. haven been able to see Johan anywhere in school thou.. hey u never go sch is it? ha..
the 2 hrs of SW2101 totally bore me to daeth!!! and she can still asked us if her lect was boring! then went to print notes.. stayed till 5plus. Dont understand why i always seem to go back sch around that time, no matter what time my lessons start. SChOOl SUX. (see that piglet?, its for u)
I find that we always fall into the trap of changing ourselves, even when there's nothing wrong with us.I admit that i am also guilty of that. but i always try to tell myself that i dont live for others, so why should i care what they like or dont like about me? We live for ourselves/ God rite..So often we change to please, to fit in, to gain favour.. why should we?
You dont have to change
When people tell u to
Unless u're doing something bad
You dont have to change
When people dont like what u do, say or wear
You dont have to change
Just to please
You dont have to change
When no one is doing what you do
You dont have to change
For anyone
The one who make u change dont love u
The one who changed u does
You dont have to change
You are you.
i really hope it aint me u're talking abt..
went school to have lunch with Jess and Joyce and watched 12 storeys in the lib. the show was nice. Had a good time laughing. then went queensway for dinner and bought a top that i eyed for a long time. hehe.. ate mac ice-cream. yum yum.
might be going KTv tmr.. ahaha... i cant wait!
got Jem Leong's no. from Johann, thought i might give him a call since he hasn't been attending cell and chc.. think i quite kpo, but then, i think i ought to do that. like let him know that there're pple who care.
I personally find it hard to be consistent in my spiritual walk when things're good. I find it much easier when things aren't. For some, it might be the other way round. When things are rosy, nothing's too difficult as to seek divine intervention, but when things are not, there can only be relying on a higher power. But then, we have to be faithful in the good times and the bad. Just like God is, in our good and bad times.
He never leaves us nor forsakes us. how reassuring that truth is!
I've realised that friends can forsake and leave our lives, go separate ways; family members will eventually leave us one day, but God never ever leaves us, no matter what! We may leave him, but he wil never leave us.
been trying to spice up my uni life a bit by joining skating and dance synergy but a verse came to my mind: "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added onto you."
Praise God for reminding me that.
PS: Mer, i dont have ur blog add anymore, can u leave it in my comments? thanks!
tHE start of the sch term has got some of my pals stressed up. Hmm... cant blame them, their schedules are really packed. but i guess school's life is like that. Sec, A's etc.. which part of it is easy? I guess that's what we get as Singaporean students.
Yest's outing was relaxed. Nice chilling out. Thou we din do much, but its the company that counts.
Got so tanned that i now look like a red hot lobster! hope my skin doesn't peel! *OUCH*
Jeanie asked me an interesting question during the outing. She asked "how come you don't talk to ur cousin?", even thou we went for the same outing. hmm.. don't really know how to answer her. I guess as we grow older, we have fewer words to say. What can we say anyway? guess we're too old for words.. sometimes, words are not the only way to communicate. And communication need not involve words. Whatever it it, the bond is not based on words. can never be..
... ... ...
went for dance synergy open class today and it was a real eye-opener. Though Jess and I didn't join in to dance, we sure had a great time watching. In fact, we couldn't wait to join in! It was like we feel we could do it, the dance moves were very cool! haha.. dunno if we can manage, but till the next class, we shall see!
saw Stacey and Bessy in town today.. and Piglet, i think u have some clarifying to do...*stares* Stace told me that she's not wking nor studying anymore, wonder what she's doing now! Seems to me that she has problems of her own which i cant seem to fathom. Just hope that she will be well.
going sentosa with cell tmr! Dunno what's the arrangement, just suppose to turn up at harbour front interchange at 10.45am. Was told that Liang is planning it, hmm.. dont rem he's in our cell leh..
hope it would be fun! and that we wont be swamped by crowds! Hookastank would be there too.. so.. aiyo, IMAGINE the crowd!
anyway.. has told MR "dont give me crap" to stop bothering me. bit harsh, but i guess i've to do that in order to get some peace. I dont want to entertain him and dont think there's any need to.
2 days of sch has been quite a handful. Literally. Notes notes and more notes. thou it's a fresh new term, feels as if not. feels as if i'm back in a familiar place, doing familiar things, meeting familiar people. hmm..
was planning my tuts just now and realised that i have no choice but to go back to sch for a geo tut. Ah... why like that? that actually means i only go sch on mon, wed and thur. Dunno how good that can get.
What does it means to accept?
TO me:
it means accepting in spite of flaws, shortcomings and looks.
it means loving in spite of knowing everything abt the person.
Lovin' despite seeing the worst of him/her and Lovin' despite others' disapproval.
It means having a big heart.
It means wanting to love...
School's starting today! YAY!!
Hey Mer, i dont have the link to ur blog anymore. can leave it in my comments? thanks!
Been in the welcome team for almost 8 mths now. Rachel called last week to ask me to re-evaluate whether to stay in the welcome team. Frankly speaking, i've never thought of leaving, so her question came as quite a shock. I wanted to quit some time back bcos i couldn't commit, but thought that i would return when sch resumes. Now i dunno what to do. Should i stay or leave? If i leave, where shall i go?
told Jennifer that if i quit, i wouldn't want to serve in any ministry already, but she reminded me that i need to be involved in chc. Ya..
I promised to serve too.. how can turn my back?
Still,
Where shall i serve? How shall I?
"Don't let anybody affect how you feel, bcos everyday is a gift from God." - Yin
Hey Peiqi, didn't mean to delete ur blog. Thought i just delete the dashboard but ended up deleting ur blog and my blog. I'm soooo sorry! I think i know how to creat a new blog, u can ask me. But u will lose all ur previous entries.. i'm really sorry. Who ask me so qian bian, really go press DELETE.
SAD!
