during YA svc today, i just sensed God wanting to let his people know he loves them. i know as YAs, we dont always feel we belong and is part of church. maybe we feel kinda out of place, we dont seem to feel at home in svc, and cant seem to find our place in this ministry even. but as today, during worship, i just prayed to God and asked that he will let us know in a deeper way how much he loves each of us. even when we dont feel we belong, let us always remember we are God's people, we are His, His chosen, His beloved and treasured possession.


God's house is our home and we belong. We belong to God.


and i pray even as if you're feeling discouraged by ministry or by church, disappointed, disillioned with how things have been for you in church, that you always remember you have a God who loves you dearly. no matter how bad things may have been for you, always know God loves you!!! You mean so much to him! i pray you'll begin to know deep in your hearts you are dearly and lavishly loved by an awesome God! :)


Have a great sunday!

posted by ser @ 12:36 AM   0 Comments

i really enjoyed the ezekiel classes i've attending at G1, with Ps Kwang Meng teaching. so far attended 2 sessions already, and i really appreciate Ps KM's putting across in simple terms the context and content of Ezekiel. his notes and explanation helped me to understand this book so much more and better. Thank God for this class! If i read ezekiel by myself, i think it would take me forever to understand it unless i go bible college or something. so i am really glad i went for the class! So looking forward to the next one already! And one more thing! It is very encouraging to see so many YAs coming for the class. Ps Cx said 50 YAs signed up! Wow! This is like 3/4 of the YAs la. :) nice! So glad we can come and learn tog! Thank God for Ps KM and his teaching. It takes alot of research and study on his part and also the added strength to teach us late into the evenings! The classes are from 7.30pm-9.30pm, twice a week! and we all know night classes are the hardest to teach and to stay....awake. :)

if you've not been coming for the classes, u really missed out a lot. the teaching is really good! easy to understand. and also, i think most of us would not be able to read and understand ezekiel by ourselves!

my forehead is now horrendously filled with pimples! Help! what's happening? SIANZ! what's the shortest way to make pimples go away ah??? they made my face look so ugly! :( :( hope they heal soon! i want my pretty face! :(

posted by ser @ 1:10 AM   0 Comments

i'm so thankful lately for the people i have in my life, esp my church friends from AHH and TGIF. i realised in this 6 months, i've grown much closer to my cell, AHH people. and i am so glad i am closer to them and know them more as persons and friends, and not just as cell members. and its so nice to know for the first time in church, i have a community i feel belonged to, and which belonged to me. :) yes, for the 1st time in my 6 years in church. well i know many people in church, but often times, i havent felt the sense of belonging.


now i am starting to feel belonged. and i thank God for placing me in AHH. i'm glad i stayed on. i am happy i am beginning to sense a family forming in AHH, a family of brothers and sisters in Christ. in this 6 months, i am glad i got to know Marsh, En, Grace, Wanjin, Amy, Arron, Lionel, Zhonghan and Gid better. and i wouldnt trade them for anything else, and wouldnt take them for granted! and i am so touched when i see them caring for each other like a family. i sense warmth among them--something which wasnt happening before! its amazing. although i wondered who else in cell noticed this lovely change. and it really is encouraging to know people WANT to come for cell. :) and i just want to say, i love you AHH! :) u made all the sacrifices worthwhile! really. i have no regrets serving you.


and i really praise God for doing such a work in us! He has not only brought us closer to Him, but also to one another.



TGIF. i thank God for opportunities to interact with people from this cell. i am glad to know people like Matt, Joey, Jon Liew, Jia, Jeraldine C, Jeremiah, and most recently, Jun Jie (all the Js ha..)! they have deepened the christian fellowship experience i have in church and i am really grateful. They are fun to hang out with and nice people to talk to! amazing!



YWAs cells can be happening, growing and glowing for God! I sense it coming for AHH because i see God doing something deeper and wonderful in our hearts. Lets continue to be people after God's heart, and watch in amazement what He can do for the cell as we continue to seek after
Him and let Him lead.


Let us be truly people After His Heart.

posted by ser @ 1:17 AM   0 Comments

i had some free time during work yest to do some online research on youth work and i came across this writing by a youth's mum about her teenage son. out of curiousity, i read it, having no inkling what the story was about.


as i read more and more, i see a painful story unfolding. the sad thing was that she found out her son wasnt like any other normal teenage boys because he was bisexual. but the sadness didn't stop there.


the saddest thing was, her son fell into a deep depression, lost all hope in ever living a normal life without being ostracised for his sexual orientation, committed suicide and died-- at the prime youthful age of 17.


the truth is this; the teenage boy came into the open about his sexual orientation. His family eventually accepted him and continued to love him for who he is.
Yet because of his confession; people were mean to him, outcasted him, treated him as some alien, fought him and said all sorts of nasty things about him. He had no acceptance from the society he lived in. there was almost zero tolerance for people like him with a sexual orientation different from the rest.


to continue to live was too painful for him. he saw no hope in trying. nothing he did, changed how people viewed and treated him-- no matter how hard he tried. tragically, he gave up on life in a world which was merciless.


the most painful thing after his death for the family was that the eye centre refused to let him donate his eyes because they claimed that they did not want to take the risk as he was a bisexual.


WHAT?!!?!!


is your initial reaction like mine? what kind of risk do you mean? and how does being a bisexual affect the quality of your eyes?


is that infuriating to you?


think of that boy's family.


if i were the boy's kin, i would be irate!


the saddest and most impactful part for me after i finish the read was that the boy never tasted love and acceptance from the people around him --he didn't live long enough to. he never got the love and acceptance he needed to continue living. life became a hopeless struggle and pain for him.
gosh, are there many youths out there who live like him?


and the lesson for me is; am i one of those who will offer acceptance and love to a boy like him? Or will i, like the rest of the merciless world, offer him nothing?


and i pray i will never ever in my work with youths cease to love and accept them for who they are, no matter what they become. i want to love them unconditionally, and never want to become one of the reasons that drive them to desperation or hopelessness. God help me!

posted by ser @ 1:25 AM   0 Comments

Disclaimer: It is not exhaustive nor compulsory to get me a birthday gift. but this is compiled for those who want to get me a gift but dunno what i'd like; to spare them the agony of searching for the 'perfect' gift; and spare them the "i don't like your present" subtle glance from me. HAHA!


Some things i would really like to have;


1) Anything Christian


2) Anything precious moments


3) A Sheep soft toy! or sheep accessories! love sheep!


4) Hair dye and highlight (not DIY of cos! hmmm.. i think Jess has volunteered to sponsor this! HAHA.. more like i asked her to! lol. i'm so BHB i know!! )


5) Handmade cards


6) Sun dresses (if u know my size.. ;)


7) Anything i'd use in my work/office


8) Big hugs! (need i say this is to come from which gender?)


9) Prayers.


10) A surprise would be nice!


11) A bubble tea or ice-cream!


12) A smile on a child's face.


13) Celebrating this time with my family and friends.


14) Seeing a prayer answered!


15) To know i've made a difference to someone.


16) To have lived and not regreted the way i live my life.


17) To have loved and was loved.


18) To glorify God with all i have, today and everyday.


19) To help someone know God better.


20) To witness a salvation.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

told you its not exhaustive rite? :)


i dunno if this happens to you. but as i get older, i seem to want to get more things done! It's like i know my time on earth is dwindling away, and i just want to make the most out of the remaining time i have! To do as much as i can, with the time i have left. and birthdays seem to be pivotal times to reflect what i want for my life and realign my priorites; to celebrate past victories and to continue overcoming, and living this life to the fullest, with the knowledge that with each birthday, my time on earth is coming to a closer end.

posted by ser @ 12:10 AM   0 Comments

Before the foundation of the world, God made a plan to love us -- this is a gift from God.
(we did nothing to earn God's love. So no matter what we do or do not do, God's love for us doesnt change. Similarly, no one can take away God's love from us! "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." -Roms 8:38-39 NOTHING can separate you from God's love! )


My heart is God's heart.
(this statement just blows my mind away! how can i comprehend this?)


Gentleness comes when your core is healthy.
(this is so telling rite?) when you see a violent, impatient and angry person, u know his/her core too! )


However your soul (core) is, is what your worship is.
(woa! can u see the importance of our soul in worship? soul refers to our emotions and feelings.)


God made you with dignity and for purpose.
(you are made by God! and for a purpose! You were not born to just live, eat, marry and die! You were created for a purpose! You were made by a divine and awesome God! Doesn't that awe you?)


3 pillars for a healthy core:

1) Worth
Our sense of worth comes from the Son of God who so valued us that He suffered and died on our behalf. "We accept God's forgiveness and regard ourselves as righteous because of His grace."


2) Belongingness
(missed copying down this part, but i guess it would be that as believers, we belong to God! We are called his children and heirs! And we belong to the body of Christ, a family of believers in God! That is why christians call each other brothers and sisters! We are all one big family! :)


3) Competence
A sense of competence is found in the Holy Spirit, who enables us to do worthwhile things. The holy spirit assures your competence by empowering you to live a godly life and fulfil God's purposes.



Do you know whose you are, and who you are?


God knew. He knew you before you were born.

posted by ser @ 12:29 AM   0 Comments

if you do not already know, i have a personal assistant and he is Jon Liew from my church. i think its funny how i became his boss and him my PA. but i would say this relationship has served us well! it is one of those few close friendships which i really enjoy. not bcos he does anything for me, (he is my PA but he doesnt do what a PA does for me..lol!), but i really enjoy his company and his brotherly affection for me. yes i say it unbashedly. ;)


tonight i met him for dinner, and i'm so glad to hear him speak of the many lessons he learnt in retreat. Not so much the lessons that amaze me, but the transformation in his lifestyle, heart and attitude towards God just wowed me! he told me that now he does his quiet time daily and has such a hunger for God that he prays more and just wants to be like David, a man after God's heart! He is also learning to submit and surrender issues in his life to God and wanting God to be involved in his life! Something which has not been the case for a long long time. And it is also amazing to him that he knows all these rekindled desires and hunger for God does not come from himself! He recognises they are God-given. and God had shown him the condition of his heart and is moving him back to serve in ministry. God rekindled his desire to serve in the children church! And God has made the way for him to do that.


in his own words, "God is slowly changing my heart."


Praise the Lord!


as i listen to him, my heart just leaps with joy! and i am excited at what i am hearing! i am so happy for him that God has revealed these things to him and is changing his heart! Aint that wonderful? i rejoice with him! and i embrace the new Jon! :) i see him maturing, and growing in Christlikeness and i thank God for His work in Jon! Its really worth celebrating and somethingto be excited about! And i am glad he sees God at work in his life! :)


i find it so amazing but definitely not surprising! Because our God is a God who can transform hearts.


and as i look at Jon's tranformation, i pray this to be so for those of you who are far from God. Always know that God loves you and wants to be part of your life. No matter how far your heart has been from Him, he is able to restore, renew and transform your heart, if you would open up your heart to Him. He is waiting for you.

posted by ser @ 10:10 PM   0 Comments

really would like to share with you the many lessons i learnt from Ps Sam in the 5 days. good things are meant to be shared rite! Here goes! the coloured words are my own thoughts. heee.. enjoy reading and learning! :)


Day 1 take-aways

when we worry, we cannot really worship God.
(how true..)


God said to Joshua 3 times, "Be strong and courageous..." !!!
(3 times! Isnt worry and fear our no 1 hindrances to obeying God and doing His work?)


whenever the enemy comes against you, God has a plan for you.
(amazing huh? The enemy plans your downfall but God plans your escape! )


Jesus will take the destructive part of worry and help you shape into constructive concerns.
(just give your worries to God! He will take care of it!)


What worries from your past steal your present luster and joy?
(let us ask ourselves honestly.)


God doesn't give up on you when you fall.
(He never gives up on you, never. He doesnt despise the broken hearted.)


What worries you today? Worry empties today of its strength.
(how true! how much time do we spend worrying?)


The wisdom for conquering your enemy will be given in your secret place of prayer and worship. (that is why our own quiet times and devotion with God are so vital. that is also why Jesus often move away from crowds and pray to God by himself. that is also why God tells us in the bible to pray to God in secret; just between you and God. Because, there, you'll find all you need.)


Your greatest weapon against your enemy is the word of God.
(let us not neglect studying the bible!)


the devil's attack is proof that the enemy considers your assignment significant.
(so the next time you experience struggles or difficulties in doing God's work or will, know it is the devil trying to stop you at all costs! he doesn't want you to succeed! )


If your enemy is the King's enemy, then the battle is the King's.
(woa! the battle is the King's! means the King will fight on our behalf. Indeed, in the Old testament, Israel's war victories were ALL brought about by the Lord! Lord granted them victory against their enemies! )


When your enemy is plotting your demise, your King (God) is planning your reward!
(hallelujah! what a great truth!)


Favour with the King can restore in a day what was stolen in a lifetime.
(woa, another great truth! God is able to restore many more folds. reminds me of this verse that Jesus mentioned in the bible: "And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life." - Matt 19:29


God is still on His throne.
(God reigns. He is in control. Nothing that happens in the world is out of His sight or out of His hand.)


truly, what is there to worry when you have a great God who is for you, who wants to help you and who loves you too much to see you suffer alone? Lay all your worries at the feet of Jesus today.


Jesus said: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." -Matt 11:28-30

posted by ser @ 1:33 AM   0 Comments

it is interesting that Zh asked me over msn just now.. how come i wrote so little about such an impactful and long retreat.
hmmm.. i agree! I expected myself to write more too! And there is simply so much i can write about it! yet i also know, i need time to structure my thoughts and pen them into readable writings. blogging is a structured activity. however much u say that u can just type whatever that comes to your mind, still ur thoughts need to make sense in the English language and be grammatically correct to be read and understood. and that's why i never blog without thinking/pondering about what i am about to write. yes, my posts are processed thinking. :) blogging to me is very much a thinking process and reflection time.


and as i spend abit more time now thinking about how the retreat had impacted me, i am reminded of one of the more personal things God did for me. and i am grateful to God for helping me think through the issue, helping me see the reality, then helping me to let go, giving me His freedom and finally assuring me that i am loved by Him no matter whether anyone else loves me. whether or not another person loves me, DOES NOT negate God's love for me. It DOES NOt determine God's love for me.


God loves me anyway.
God loves me still.
God loves me no matter what.
God loves me in spite of what i've done.
God loves me the way He made me.


and i've finally experienced the freedom of letting go and letting God in this issue. i've finally found the resolution to this matter. i found out the truth about the matter; the truth i needed to hear and know. it was a prayer answered. it was the answer i had been dying yet fearful to know. and knowing the answer helped me to know what i needed to do; i needed to let it go and move on. i need to stop blowing bubbles of hope and to start leaning upon the rock of truth. i need to build my life in God's truth and not live in my own fantasy world.


yes, romance is definitely sweet and nice. but for me, that romance is a fairytale i've believed and lived in for the past few months. i need to wake up. i need to realise true romance is not a fantasy nor fairytale. True romance has to be real. it seems cruel to yourself to burst your own bubble, but sometimes, that is what you need to do, to help yourself see the reality of it all. to deny the truth, you only prolong the time you live in fantasy. to be frank, that means you've not been really living at all.


so yes, i've decided to wake up from my fantasy, burst all the bubbles, and continue to live in the truth. I've decided to be real and honest with myself, and move on for the glory of God. I've chosen to give this up in exchange for what God has for me. I do not know what God has for me, but i know as long as i walk in obedience to Him, he is a rewarder of those who seek Him earnestly. and His plans for me are plans to prosper and not to harm, plans to give me a future and a hope. And even if things are going to be harder from now on, His word tells me that His presence will be with me. He never leaves nor forsakes.


Hallelujah! :)


with giving it all up, i just feel so much more joy,peace and freedom to worship God. It frees up my emotions and thoughts to focus on God. when ur mind is preoccupied with someone else, you don't have much space for God. it is only when you put aside that someone else's thoughts that you truly become occupied and obessessed about God! You start thinking God's thoughts, and start feeling God's heart. this reminds me of the verse where Jesus said the greatest commandment is to : "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." -Mark 12:30



God taught me during the retreat, through this issue, to love him with all my heart and my mind. once, my heart and mind were preoccupied with another person. then, i learnt to love the Lord by being preoccupied with Him in my heart and mind.



the heart of worship is about my heart and God's heart becoming one.




where have your heart and mind been?

posted by ser @ 2:55 AM   0 Comments

i am so GLAD i went cos i have been greatly blessed.
it is the retreat that i learnt the most. it was also a time where i truly rested in body and spirit. the first time among all retreats that i felt no hurry; no rush from place to place, activity to activity, no late nights, that the schedule of events was really kind on us. we had more than enough time for meals, and ample time for R & R, and early bedtimes! the pics will be on facebook, go see if u are interested! :)


its so great too that i learnt so much from Ps Sam Farina's teaching and sharing! It was information overload but i enjoyed the download! It was like going back to being a student and taking down notes. but this time, what was different was; my course of study was Christianity! what Ps Sam shared about worship was so vital yet never fully understood by Christians, and so overlooked! Because what he shared was so good, i became a living sponge; trying to absorb as much as i can; trying to note down as many things as i can! It was just wonderful to be learning so many new things!


so my greatest take-home from this retreat was the many precious lessons about the Christian worship.
and i thank God i was able to be there to learn, and to worship.
will share more on the lessons soon! for now, let me leave you with this quote;


"You cannot have a core of worship unless you have a heart that worships. "
-Ps Sam Farina


:) Praise the Lord for a great learning retreat!

posted by ser @ 11:24 PM   0 Comments