SWEE SING IS BACK. EXPECT CHAOS AND MORE CHAOS IN UR LIFE!!!!
haha...that's dedicated to u my fiend....haha...aka AH and SSLOW....
These few days have really been slack...nothing for me to do, so i'll hang around at home. and sleep till donkey hours then wake up. A time to rest i guess. Wow...a yr really makes the difference....a past yr's event can differ so much from another! but of cos, the yr gets better and more challenging. I guess there were several challenges for me this yr.
One of it i had to learn to let go and trust God. It wasn't easy but I managed to pass the yr thru it....i believe it's an accomplishment.
Another challenge was to walk alone. Now that thought alone could make any person shudder? haha...it is really quite intimidating to walk alone..not a joke. But all of us, in some point in our lives, have to walk alone. So why not learn to? There's a lifetime to lead! daring to walk alone makes u a stronger person, emotionally.
One challenge is also to live without my dad. Hasn't been easy. Come to think of it, he has been away for a yr. Time flies ....and managing the household became a women dominated thing in our family. but somehow the women in our family has always been independent. Rite Maisie, Cindy? in fact, all of the females in the family are working, females my age and younger! supporting the family! Girls's power ya! and of cos, when the earthly daddy is not around, i still have my Heavenly Daddy. He's the one who gave me my earthly daddy. and God lets me knows that even without my dad, if i have God, i will be able to get by. God is more than enough for me.
and one challenge is also in terms of financial...but i have seen it and believe that God will provide. and i really was pleasantly surprised when i heard Joyce's testimony! God is just so amazing. He will bless not only what u need, but what u ask! that's amazing..... and it is a sign of his love for us...his goodness to us! Praise God! and bcos of that sharing, and many in my life, i know i have nothing to fear I know God will provide for me. Some think God will love them more if they are more spiritual or holy than others....so they try to outdo others in tithings, serving etc. But no, God treats EVERYONE equally. and also, it is not about how good we are that God blesses us, but it is about how GOOD GOD is to us! God blesses us the same. His blessings to us reveals his good and loving nature. And we cant earn that, no matter how much we try to do! and what regardless of what u have done or have not done, can never change this nature of his! So trust Him, to provide for u. For if he clothe the lilies, HOW MUCH MORE, will he clothe you, his beloved child?
and perhaps a significant challenge nearing the year of this yr is being assigned to be a DGL
during the YouthCamp. I was really apprehensive about the task...with my mediocre bible knowledge. But surprisingly, i think i breezed thru it. Not by might, not by power, but by the spirit of God. and yes, i know i can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me.
i believe we should always take up challenges which will enable us to grow into a better person,
and stronger individual. and see challenges as opportunities for growth. =)
all the best to all of u in the coming yr!
The tram to the breathtaking view above......
We stayed in a kampong for our last night. But hey, that's it. Not too bad rite? A Bung in the middle of a kampong? How cool...
I like this shot. Dont u think they looked so natural? and free-spirited? hee...couple look? Presenting Ryan and Jessica!
Welcome to Penang!!! with 3 beauties to welcome u..haha.....
On a swing we go!
Dont miss Penang Laksa when u're in Penang! It's so deli--cio--us! and at less than $1?
The room we stayed! Looks decent ya? the view from the window is breataking man. The room has a good view of the sea!!!
The view above Penang.......
Christmas this year began early at 7.30am as i prepared to meet Joyce, Siming, Johan and Swee Sing for breakfast at centrepoint Mac. then we proceeded to Newton's Life Church for service before returning to our church for service. Then it was lunch with Joyce and Su Teck at TBP food court. And Joyce bumped into her SA friends and so the 3 of us went for her friend's birthday bbq. Then we left early to PS to meet Michelle and Jess for dinner at CArtel. wow...what a filled day. I had literally seen Joyce the whole day and had all 3 meals with her!!!! haha..not that i'm complaining...cos we seldom spend so much time together. so it was good.
and this Christmas day, i realised that for the past 3 yrs, i have been spending it with the same few people and has been going to the same few churches each year. Not that i am complaining, but i really hope for a breakthrough in the Christmas celebration. Actually i still think going to church on Christmas is a must. In addition, if i could have it my way, i would like to celebrate this special day with lots of friends and most importantly , with my family. It has been a long time since my whole family sat down for a decent meal. and now it has become a dream of mine to be able to have such a feast with my family on this day. Thou it seems quite impossible now, i am still hoping that one day, it will be fulfilled. and with God in our midst and our loved ones, there's nothing more i'd ask for, for Christmas.
Actually i am fortunate already...who knows how many goes hungry this Christmas. and how many did not live to see Christmas. we are indeed a fortunate lot. and let's be thankful for all that we have ya?
and i wanna add that i also saw my own BIG flaws this Christmas day. I find that i am very selfish when it comes to food, i dont like to share and i wanna make sure i have enough to eat first before sharing. It is always me before others. and how i dont like to share? always so afriad that if i share i will be shortchanged and not have enough? hmmm.. Serene Tan...u gotta wake up. You gotta change. I think so too. i dont like this aspect of me..so self centered and selfish. Always want to fulfil my own needs before others. Yes, u can say Man is elfish and that is human nature...but i believe we have the capacity to be selfless and compasionate? Afterall, we are made in God's image and likeness. So if God is selfless and compassionate, i believe it is within us to do the same too. Dear Lord, i pray u teach me to be like u O Lord. To give out of love and not fear. To give unconditionally. and not to be afraid of any lack, for in you i have everything i'll need. and that ur grace is sufficient for me. Teach me that O Lord. Thank You Lord. In Jesus's precious's name i pray, Amen!
and i've realised u know u are a true pal if u feel the pain when ur friends cry and u share in the joy when your friend succeed. It is not about comparing ur life with ur friend and start looking at what she has that u don't have. But to rejoice with her when she;s happy and cry with her if she's sad! It's all about caring, not comparing. It's all about encouraging, not chiding. It's all about sacrificing, not taking. It's all about sincere and genuine concern, not some pat on the back. and i am so thankful for Joyce.....she's been all that and more to me. I rem she will share all that she has with me, even up to all and the little she has. and she is always so encouraging even while listening to my complaints. and she would share with me the good things she has.. and she would even when she cant help me, would offer to help in other practical ways. She is also a good reflector of who i really am, with objectivity and wisdom. I know she will always stand by me, no matter what. and i have nothing more to ask for. This is specially dedicated to u my friend! Thank you for the years walked, the journey travelled. U have truly been more than a blessing in my life. =)
Michelle and Jess, u guys too. Without u guys, i guess my darkest days will have been much darker. we have been thru so much together, and much more wiser and mature. but there's always something in life worth looking forward to ya? let us not always be so jaded and pessimistic ok! There's hope! bcos there's a God that cares! I really pray that each of u will find true happiness and joy in ur lives. U gals have been thru so much, i really pray u will truly be happy in ur lives. and live purposeful lives, lead fulfilling lives and a life full of God's love, peace, hope and joy! I pray that God will bless ur families and other halves too, with love and peace. Pray that God will bless u guys with what u truly need...that u shall not lack anything. Pray that u'll know God one day, ur creator and saviour.
Su Yin, u too. thou we seldom spend time together now, i know u treasure our friendship a lot. and i really appreciate ur encouragement now and then. always asking abt my wellbeing. dear friend, really glad u came to accept and love the Lord, truly, it has been a blessing and encouragement seeing u being blessed and finding joy in the Lord. May God cont to be so real in ur life. May ur family come to know God's great lve too. Press on. I'm sure God will give u the wisdom to know what to do. Trust Him alone. =)
Dear Lord, friends are precious gifts from u to us. I pray that u help me to be a better friend. Bless all my friends too Lord. Bless them abundantly and exceedingly, so that they truly know what a loving God u are. help them to be a blessings to others too. Thank You Lord. In Jesus's precious name i pray all these, Amen.
Dear friends, may we always walk together, in the good and the bad. I pray that God will continue to bless our friendship. and i thank God for all of u.
A story once told of how a man stole from a priest. When he was arrested, the police asked the priest whether his things has been stolen. The priest answered "no, i gave him these things. I have adopted him! all of my things are his!"
isnt the priest good to the theif who stole from him? does the theif deserve such goodness?
sometimes, we are like the theif. We are selfish, jealous, backstab others, want the best for ourselfs and nelect those around us. We lie to escape punishment, we may be unfaithful to our partners, we disobey our parents.
But what if one day, u discover that despite all the "not-so-nice" things u have done, there was still a God who was willing to die for u? So that ur so called no-so-nice things (sins) could be atoned for? So that we do not have to go to hell? Put in context, those who do evil this life will have to go to hell....but who has never lied or shortchanged anyone before? So in actual fact, all of us would have to go to hell!
but what if you know there is this man called Jesus who died for u, so that u do not have to suffer in hell? He redeemed ur life! Satan wants u to burn in hell, God does not. Instead, Jesus died so that we can live!
and tell me what greater truth there is than that?
and what greater God is there than Jesus?God paid all ur debts for you, without u even knowing.
i cant contain.... i got things to say this Christmas eve. Attended service just now....and it was quiet. Where have the people gone to? To celebrate? shouldnt they come to worship God? cos there's where the true reason for Christmas lies! haiz......looking at the empty seats, i cant help feeling that many are celebrating Christmas their own way, instead of coming to the source. What's Christmas without Christ?
and i saw a row of teenage boys...i have never seen them in church before! So who invited them? i dunno man... but looks like many of them are not Christians. and i am so glad they are in our church! bcos there's like a thousand other places to be on Christmas eve other than church! but i am not sure if they have been ministered to! God, i pray u speak to each and every one of them. Let them understand the true meaning of Christmas. Do not let them go away empty, but Lord fill them with understanding. Help them know u Lord! If they do not believe, stir it up in their hearts Lord! that they will come to know an emptiness in their hearts only u can fill! Lord i pray u bless them with Christians who can bring them to you. I pray for open hearts and open minds, that in this season, u bless and convict their hearts that they can truly find where they belong in Christ! Help them and guide them in this process Lord. Do not let them be caught up in this world's futility but believe in the power of your love! Amen. And Lord, may they truly be transformed by you, may u bring them out of darkness into ur wonderful light! Dear Lord, bless them i pray. In Jesus's loving name i pray, Amen!
and i said earlier i cant contain...and u might be thinking what it is. i can contain the festivity and commercialisation of Christmas......and where and what Man's hearts have turned to! Who is truly convinced of Christmas's true meaning? and what is Jesus to us? how much does Jesus mean to us? Do we even care that he was born this day? i cant answer for u....u have to discover it for urself, but you cant discover it if u do not have have an open mind and heart. Christmas is defined individually. U have to find out for urself what it means to u. Dont follow the crowd. They may be wrong, or not right for you.
I cant tell u how much God means to me...cos u are not me. i cant tell u how much God loves u bcos this u gotta experience it for urself to know. I cant tell u how much God has done for u, until u know what he has done for u. I dunno and can never tell u how wonderful God is. U have to experience it for urself. Are u willing?
You have been living ur life, the way u want it
You have tasted success, lived in its glory
You have also fallen, defeated and beaten
You have been heartbroken, pain that hurts so much
You have also had fun, excitment and adventure
You had been liked, by ur friends ur family
You have also been disliked, for no explainable reason
You have been searching for a meaning in life, a reason for living
You are tired of life, nothing worthy to seek
You thought all can only be darkess, sorrow and grief
You long to have someone love u or someone u can love
A long and painful wait, u cant bear each day
You have grown and matured, thru the trials that came
You have also regresssed, to sometimes being a child
Demanding for things u cant have
and having it all, and been thru it all
Have u ever wondered where u're headed to?
Who do u live for? is it worthy of ur call?
When u are down and out, who can be with u 24/7?
when u need someone, who can be there?
Life can be tiresome, without a faithful friend
But a friend is still human, cant always be with u
and life can be harsh, for no apparent reason
Do u need someone to hold u? To guide you? to lead u?
and be on ur side when world is against u?
And be for u, when the going gets tough?
i cant begin to tell u how great it is
To have a friend like Jesus
Who intercedes for You
and i cant tell u how much He loves you
For you, he gave all that he had
I cant tell you, how good he is
Your life, health, work, family and friends
All these he gave...
Sometimes u dont even know
But u can begin to know Him today
If u will take the step
He will do the rest
If u believe
He will come and bless
and what he can give, he gives u the very best
Afterall, he gave up all that he has
For you, He will.
If u are still with me, i would like to leave u with these lyrics...
We were the reason that He gave his life
We were the reason that he suffered and died
To a world that was lost
He gave all he could give
To show us the reason to live
Christmas isnt really Christmas till God enters ur heart.
hmmm....just came back from Penang on wed. well.. are u thinking that the trip has somewhat a negative connotation? hmmm...well, for me i guess it was negative...not to mean that the people who went with me were.
well..there were misunderstandings, times when i was frustrated, irritated, and pissed and felt 'constipated'. Why? I'm a person who does not like to conform...so put me in a group of 8 people, i feel...ya, 'constipated'. Perhaps, after a few years of living a single and independent life, i guess i have learnt to enjoy myself, to just be contented even if i am by myself. and THAT makes some uncomfortable, worried. perhaps no one will truly understand what i've been through. Given that....i think i'm a pretty resilient person...i dont like to worry others, so i will take care of myself and i can. For some, it is difficult to fathom that i can be independent...to them, perhaps i am rebellious...or defensive or....hard to please? so ya, during the trip, i had some conflicts with the adult....but they were mostly internal. u know how i hate to be wronged and criticised in a rasied voice? but i did not voice these out...cos afterall, i gotta respect the elders rite? and then i will think to myself that perhaps i am being sensitive and petty......i gotta try to convince my inner child ya? haha.....ya so i will reason with myself....perhaps it's a test of tolerance.
yes. this trip is basically a lesson on tolerance or rather acceptance? Acceptance is difficult.....and tolerance is not acceptance. but somehow i gotta learn how to. and thru this trip i've learnt to control my emotions. If not i will have many confrontations man! Thank God for Mic's company! If not, i really have to suffer in silence!!! haha...
so that's one contradiction. One hand i was angry, on the other, i did not show it. and tried to convince myself not to.
another was not really a contradiction. but sometimes, we really cant say things too fast. A relationship blossomed this trip. A breakthrough more likely. quite sure it started way before, but i just knew it during this trip. dont get me wrong, i'm still single.... hehehe...who's that person is pretty obvious isnt it?
and Jess's eldest brother can be such a extreme when it comes to emotions. hmmm...when he's not angry, he's nice. When he is, u wouldn;t want to be near! and cos of his outbursts i din really feel like i was on holiday mood. how can u be when u see one person fuming? it was quite a stressful time as the rest racked our brains how beat to pacify or at least minimise the after effects.
lastly, the contradiction was that i was the only one who bought the most things. the rest were not really interested in looking for cheap bargains. so as i shopped, the rest followed me around..i knew they were restless. hmm...so after a while, i got no mood to shop already. i can only say that we have different motives on this trip ba.
----------------------
and now, OFFICIALLY, all of my close friends are taken. I feel kinda left out? it's natural rite......somehow lost. so i guess i have to find more activities to occupy myself during the weekends when i cant find no one. I am not complaining cos i understand that they need to spend that time with their other halves. and i wont demand for that time. My feelings upon seeing all of them attached are kinda mixed. on one hand, i'm happy. on the other, i'm scared of losing their company and being lonely. and worried for myself.....when's my turn?
I dunno..but i am not on the lookout either. I want to be sure that special someone is God-sent. Well,m if God decides that i would be better off single, so be it! God knows best. Yes i do envy ....get jealous....think that perhaps my God is not that good to me cos He has not blessed me in this area. but i get comfort whenever i think of how great my God is, and there is NOTHING He cannot do? When i see His greatness, the things of this world seems so small ya. and though i am scared of being lonely the rest of my life, i know my God will take care of me.
just as He has always been doing.....
and that....
is more than enough for me.
=)
ps: photos will be uploaded at a later date.
would like to present a tribute to all the fathers. U might find it weird why i put them first instead of mothers. Aint mothers the greatest? much more so than daddies? hmmm....simple. I put fathers 1st cos i think they have been overworked and underpaid! yea, a term used frequently to describe social workers' meagre pay. But dont u think that our fathers are like that? Aint they always UNDERSTATED and UNDER-UTILISED and UNDERMINED? In fact, they are all in the 'under' category whenever they are compared to mothers. Think of it. Who pays for ur studies/ expenses? Who do u go to if u need money? Who is the one who pays for the household bills each month? Who is the chaffeur of the family? Who is the one who die die also must have a job? Who is the one expected to take care and support the family? Who is the one still busy working while the whole family is in bed? Who is the 1st to leave home for work?
Who is the one who watches their wives get all the affection on Mothers' day and yet to withstand a quiet celebration on Fathers' Day?
How often do our fathers get to hear loving words from us? or even a thank you?
What have we done for our fathers that are worth mentioning?
Did our fathers ever complain about the things they have to do?
And even if they do, do they stop doing them?
So i would like to thank and applaude all the fathers in this world.
Yes, some may have fathers who are abusive, irresponsible, lazy, unfaithful, unloving or cold. U ask, how to love them? Yup, you're right. Sometimes, they are not even worth our love. But still, they are ur parents. I still firmly believe that there is NO parents who do not love their children.
u may say but i cant sense my dad loves me. Bear in mind that guys are not that capable of showing outward affection or express their feelings very well, but look at their actions. Since young, how i know my dad loves me is when he buys supper for me, gives me money when i did not ask for it, peel prawns for me and tells me about his philosophy in life. He does not say I love you. Instead his love is expressed in these gestures. okay, each father is uniques as to how he shows his affection. So if ur dad is not like that, just appreciate him for bringing butter home! that he is working...why? bcos he is working to support u! ok, if all else fails, it is thanks to him that u can be born! hmmm...that's the most basic..and kinda common sense. but if u really cant find any reason to thank ur dad for, then at least, this reason might be something to start with.
today as i was returing home in a cab with Joyce, i learnt something about fathers. U see, the taxi driver is new to the job, and so he keeps making the wrong turns. at first we were quite annoyed...but later as i talked to him, i found out that he had a day job with Quantas Airlines in addition to being a taxi driver. He said that he took up 2 jobs as his son is entering university soon. Wow. When i heard that i was like, this man is a good father man. But what struck me the most was another thing. He shared with me how he always get scolded by customers as he does not know the roads well, even after explaining that he is new. And the fact that he refuses to charge any fare for these trips. He is jeered by friends when he asked them where is ZOUK.
and i was like WOW. u mean he gets scolded and humiliated just bcos he wants to earn more money for his son's education? u mean he has to endure all that? A man leh...got ego and pride. and yet he has to stoop low to earn that bit of extra money? in addition, holding 2 jobs is no joke. Furthermore, he is not young anymore. He says he cant learn as fast. wow. Are u amazed at how much this father is willing to go thru for his son? i was.
But i did not hear any complains from him. He was very humble, willing to learn. He did not even get angry with us when we kinda questioned him about the wrong turns! He was instead grateful!
wow. i dunno how to express my feelings except this sense of exclamation.
and perhaps i could share with u my dad's experience. He used to be a enterprising businessman. Businness did well. Drove a mercedes, could afford at least one family vacation a year, had a company that was doing well and cliching huge projects,wore coats and pants to work and had dozens (literally!) of credit cards! Then a few years later, he was reduced to a life of a hawker, toiling for more than 10 hours a day, live on the money earned for the day, clad in t-shirts and pants, no car to drive, no day off, subjected to physical and manual work, and finally declared a bankrupt.
The incredible thing was not the height of his fall. The incredible thing is he never once gave up! I really praise God for that. bcos that could be a huge blow to anyone, much more once a successful businnessman. Thank God he took it in his stride. Now he is working in Shanghai, and though he had a more stable job, he still toiled till the wee hours of the night to ferry and entertain visitors to my uncle's company. Now, he helps out in my uncle's company in whatever job he's given and has learnt to do his own laundry. I can kinda imagine those who were skeptical of him ever making a mark in Shanghai. Many has told me if he cant make it big in Singapre, how can he expect to make it big in Shanghai? But i believe my father's greatest success is not having succeeded but in never ever giving up! for that, i truly give him the thumbs up! my dad once told me that it was not easy for him to adjust to his fall after having it good for so long. but he also said that he would never give up as long as he is still able to work. He wants me not to give up in what i do too.
My father has such a fighting spirit. I am so proud of him. His never-say-die attitude. I will never forget what he said before leaving, he told me that he believed, given a chance, he can make it work over there. and dad, yes i know u will! u are working for a better future.... u are also working for the family. My only daddy on earth and in this lifetime, my dearest daddy.
how about u? what's ur dad like?
Would u call ur father dearest daddy?
can u begin to comprehend how great a father's love can be?
Can you begin to realise how deep is ur dad's love for u?
Has it been OVERLY underrated?
I'm still going to blog about the youth camp! 2 posts are just now enough! There's so many things to blog about...hmmm....okie... to make it easier, i will categorise into different sections...
What i think God spoke to me about:
Most importantly, I realise that God desires to be close to his children, that's you and me! A lot of times we hear the pastors tell us this, but it takes on a greater meaning when we actually hear God say that! and that means that God is nearby us everytime! Praise God. no wonder they say "call upon the name of the Lord and be saved". We don't have to find God when we need Him, bocs He is already there!! Amen!
My pride, lies and selfishness. Yes. I am guilty of these things. And God told me that He demands no less from me. I cannot expect to get away with them! God is a holy God, and thus he expects no less than holiness from us. And for me, where can i run to? God is everywhere, and God knows everything! Gosh, i was stupid one to think that as long as i close one eye, God too! No Way man!
God has the power to change and impact lives. and HE WANTS TO EXERCISE THAT POWER! God wants to touch and transform our lives inside out! He wants us to be better, yet better! Praise Him!
God knows his people and what they need. How do i know this? As we went through the prayer tunnel, as different people passed me by, words just flowed out of me. Different things...and not only people. God knows what the ministry needs. In sum, God knows everything and every need. And not only that, He wants us to let Him fulfill all needs! How often do you get a good person who treats you better than you treat yourself??
God wants us to keep on praying to keep on interceding. God wants us to bless. More importantly, God wants us to intercede, God wants us to pray for the betterment of others, of things, of ministries.
Last but not least, do you believe that you are princesses and princes in the kingdom of God? Had i not heard it for myself, i wouldn't believe what a great privilege i had in heaven! Think about it. Royalty leh. Can you believe this?
In Sum, God tells me through all this that He is good. He is kind. And that He is the ONLY true and living God!
What God showed me:
He is kind. Throughout the whole camp, we were blessed with good weather, smooth execution of events, health and powerful services. Thing is, He doesn't have to, but He CHOSE to. He wants to bless us. He wants the best for us!!!! For me, i'm glad that whether as a DGL (Discipleship Group Leader) or Games Marshall, God granted me favour with people and the ability to complete the task. I'm nervous about being a DGL as i have to know the word, meaning i have to READ the bible. gosh, but as i prepaare, refernces to verses in the bible just came to me. In the midst of discussion, i was able to answer whatever questions my members asked me! wow....and as a games marshall, most of the campers knew me and i was so called 'popular' lah. And i recognise that it was God's favour as i do not think i have any charisma to begin with! hmm...and ya, being 'popular' has a price, later i was sabotaged by a few younger girls and was dripping water from head to toe! but still, i love it. hehe....
He is really kind. Okay during a game we played, i was to play this character that makes people do dumb things. Groups who manage to make me laugh could move on to the next station. Then this particular group came up with the idea of bumping and falling a small tree nearby. And then......one of the guys knocked into the tree, and ......thetree fell and part of the trunk fell INTO his face!!!! Amusing rite? No prixzes for guessing it right, this group passed. this accident's meaning to me was humor, all this while.but the thing was, it wasnt until the event was over and i was back comfortably at home, that i realised that HAD THE TRUNK FELL INTO HIS HEAD, I WOULD BE DEAD MEAT. and then, the more i thought this, the more i begin to realise how gracious and kind God is to me. and also, how much God loves His children! He would be there to protect them and to watch over them! Aint you glad? and God, did not cause anything bad to happen....he could have, in order to teach me a lesson (that i should have stopped them when they suggested the idea), but he did not. and this, i am really grateful for!!!!!
That He would discipline me. I remember telling my group mates that our group have not been assigned to do cleaning after the meals, but said that better not cos i hate to do cleaning! Then a while later, or rather as soon as i said that, Samantha came over to tell me that my group had to do cleaning after the meal!!! What a .........aiya, also dunno how to describe it. Divine intervention? Aiyo, so ah, dont anyhow say things. God hears it! hahaha....God is such a funny God. =) cool..
He is the one who accomplishes. We are his accomplices. In a GOOD and HELPFUL way. Wehn we pray for something to happen and it is answered, we tend to think that it is bcos we prayed and therefore we need to be pat on the back. but NO. God is the one who causes our prayers to come true!!! Dont ever get the sequence wrong ya? hmm.
I can depend on Him. You know, in the world we live in hor, theree's not many people we can depend on. Minus all the attached, singles but not available,singles but busy one, married ones, commit-less, heart-Less, Lazy, acquaintances, and cant be bothered ones, how many have u left? Even close friends cant be with you 24/7, and sometimes cant be around whenever u need them. So how? Thank God we still have God. I cant remember the specifics, just that God can be depended on, no matter how big or small the thing is. Even a thing as simple as finding an empty cubicle to bathe in, shows that God is reliable! He will provide! Yes man!
God is interested in every detail of our lives. Right down to ur toes and up to ur hairs!!!!! U have to know that God loves you more than you love yourself! So how surprising is it to know that he cares more for that little pimple than you do? He made you and of course he knows you! He knows what u like and dislikes. He knows you like to look good. He knows you like to be funny. He knows u dont like to brush your teeth! haha.....that' me.......Heya, the Kings of Kings and the Lord of Lords knows u? u? one of the one out of the 6000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 people on earth? When he calls you, he doesn't say: " Siao eh...." He calls:" Hey Su Teck!" "Hey Merleen!"
People who impressed upon me:
Nigel Tan. Gosh, he gotta be at the top of this list! He is one of the primary 6 in my games group. and the reason why he made such a deep impression on me was that he always have that blur look on his face that just makes u wanna laugh! and he always say the darnest things! Kids really do say the darnest things!!! but he's so cute lah...so adorable. so i always makes fun of him...hehehe.....
Nataliana. She's so poised despite being only 15. She's unlike all the tyipcal 15 yrs old girls. She's got that sweet voice, speaks with an Americanised accent, looks good, sporty and kind. Guys, Doesn't this sounds like ur dream gal?
Jean. She looks like a tomboy but is actually a sweetie at heart. She looks sporty and gungho but she also has her insecurities. She always ask about my welfare.Like she would greet me whenever she sees me or ask if i have eaten and stuff. How sweet is that? in all, these 2 gals are such a dear to me. God's blessing to me.
Zoe Tay. u mean she's at ur camp? haha, no. This Zoe that i am talking about is the exact Opposite! She's a little imp. A primary 6 gal who drenched me and told me i owe her one! A gal who asked if i would miss her! gosh....cant find a more thick-skinned one? want me to intro? haha..but then she brightens up my life lah....so cheeky. but raised her hands so high and wide during worship. wow.
Joey Tan. My paternal cousin who's older than me. I thank God for this chance in camp that we got a chance to tell the whole world we are cousins! no lah...but the chance to bond with him too...during the games. but the most shiok part was that he had to do my bidding cos i was the games marshall. HAHAHa. MORE OF THAT! *winks*
Nicole, Amanda and Phyllis. They were in my DG. My juniors basically. Teaching them has been an enriching time. Never underestimate youngster bcos they are young k? They can also be on fire for God, know His word, share gospel, bring friends to church! and....how many of u are feeling guilty already? haha......me too me too.
James. He is what most would call super 'holy'. so many is likely to shun him. but he wins my admiration for being so gungho in prayer! while people are praying about blessings, God's touch (not that they are not good), he was praying for spiritual warfare!!! hmmm...and he knows that we have to guard against the evil one, and that there is a spiritual realm where we have to fight in. He reminded us all of that. and Praise God he prayed that prayer cos no one else covered that! and thru out the camp, i can see that he's truly a man of God. btw there are also a few guys who makes my head turn! not that they are shuai or what, but cos they were really out to serve! I saw one guy mopping the floor, when most of the campers were preparing for bed! He most probably knows that no one would praise him for that, but did it anyway! he most probably knows that it was an 'unmanly' thing to do, but he did it anyway! and how many guys are like that? a pity they are too young for me! ah.......
Esther. The more I look at Esther, the more i begin to doubt if she's the Esther i knew a few years ago! She looked so radiant despite the little hours slept and she looked so at ease and at peace with herself! that she emmanate such serenity and peacefulness. Esther dunno if anyone has told u before, but i really see that in you! And find that u just have a sense of Godliness or holiness from within. really. and that's real cool. For it shows you have it right with God!!! Amen!
Justin. A behind the scene dean. A low profile one. But still he left an impression. Being a leader does not mean being in the limelight all the time. A true leader steps back and yet is able to lead. Look at Jesus. HE was from a humble background, did not wear any formal clothes whenever he preaches, and was jeered by the people. a lot of what he did can actually be called behind the scenes. Rem he did not want people to spread the fact that he perforemed the miracles? And YET, people recognises Him as the leader? yes, that's Justin too. A very humble lad.
Ps Janet. got to mention her cos she is the guest pastor! haha...hmm...she can really speak in a way that warms her to the young people. and she is not afriad toTESTIFY> i think a lot of us do not testify about God ENOUGH. yes, not enough. i also dunno why exactly.......fear? scared people say u too holy? In fact, the only reason u need for u to testify is that God is good to u!!!! nothing else! and the only thing u ever need to do is to open up ur mouth and speak! is that difficult? if u are a chatterbox among ur friends, i see no reason why you would not chatter about God too! TESTIFY. TESTIFY if you believe Jesus Lives! TESTIFY if God is real in your life! Testify if he has blessed you! TESTIFY even if he has not blessed you, for God knows what he is doing. His ways are always better than ours. His ways are always higher than ours!!!
Ps Cuixian, Ps Ronald and Ps Kieran! Okay, dont think that Ps cannot be naughty! Ask the campers what Ps Kieran did to me!!!! haha.....i gotta mention them cos they are our pillar of strength. Our motivating foundation at our back. They watch over our welfare. Spiritual, physical and mental. And if Satan comes, they are the first to get hit, but they still gladly take up the cross and bear it for us!
Lastly, if after reading all this, you still dont understand why we want to worship Jesus, dunno why we even bother to praise God for everything, why i even want to dedicate 3 posts to the youth camp, perhaps i cant really tell you why. This song might.
He came to live
Live a perfect life
He came to be the Living Word our Light
He came to die so we'd be reconciled
He came to rise
To show His power and might
That's why we praise Him
That's why we sing
That's why we offer Him our everything
That's why we bow down and worship this King
Cause He gave His everything
Cause He gave His everything
Lord i offer my life to you
Everything i've been through
Use it for you glory
Lord i offer my days to you
Lifting my praise to you
As a living sacrifice
Lord i offer you my life....
(do u know what it means to offer up ur life to God? it is not only this life u offer up, it is also about lifting up your past, your present and future to God! it means telling God to be in charge of your life. He takes FULL control.)
and once again i look upon the cross where you died
I'm humbled by your mercy and i'm broken inside
once agin i thank you
once again i pour out my life
(when you look at the cross what do you see? Do you see yourself redeemed or do you see the sacrifice of our Lord Jesus Christ?)
If i have wings i would fly
All that i need you are
If the world caves in around me,
To you i'lll still hold on
Cos you're all that i believe and the one who created me
Jesus, bcos of you
I'm free
I'm free!
(do u believe u can have liberty in Christ? do you beleive you are free and you can fly? wow....do you truly believe that?)
Consuming Fire
Fanned into flames
A passion for Your name
Spirit of God
Would you fall in this place
Lord have your way
Lord have your way....
(do you desire the Holy Spirit? Do you want him to rule in your hearts? Do you desire God's will or your own will? do you believe in submitting to God?)
Rain down on me
Rain down on me
Here in your presence
I am free
Pour down like rain
Come and touch me again
Lord, let your presence fall on me
(do you desire God's prsence? Do you want to experience Him?)
You know that i love you
you know that i want to know you so much more
More than i have before
these words are from my heart
These words are not made up
I will live for you
I am devoted to you
(are you so in love with God that you constantly hunger and crave for more and more of Him? or are you satisfied with just worshipping him and receiving? you gotta want to give God, for all that you have received from Him!)
Singing Majesty, Majesty
Forever i am changed by your love
In the presence of your Majesty
Singing Majesty.......Majesty......
( Is God the Majesty of your life? or is it TV, your better half, the computer? 'holy things'? Things are just things. they will not last. but the word of God and the love of God remains eternally. Which do you want? Do you want God to be your Majesty? Do you know God is your Majesty?)
I lay my life down at your feet
You're the only one i need
I turn to you and you were always there
In troubled times it's you i seek
I put you first that's all i need
I humble all i am, all to you
you are always , always there
Everyhow and everywhere
Your grace abounds so deeply within me
You will never ever change
Yesterday today the same
Forever till forever meets no end!
One way, Jesus
You are the only one i need
One way, Jesus
You're the only one that i could live for
(is Jesus the only way you are following? or are u walking another way? Remember there is only one way to eternity. and it is the way of Jesus Christ. No other way. No way!)
I want to walk with you every day of my life
To talk with you in the good and the strife
You're my friend
You're my Father
For all time
Nothing can keep us apart
You're the lover of my heart.
( just as life is a journey. Know also that our spiritual walk with God is also a journey? Do you want to walk with God every day, each and every single step of the way? Do you know nothing can separate you and God? Nothing.)
and now that you're near
Everything is different
Evertyhing so different Lord
I know i'm not the same
My life You've changed
I wanna be with you
(Do you know when you have God, everythintg in you and your life changes? and it changes for the better! and when God is with you, everything, everything just feels different. You think differently, you see different things and you do things you would normally not do!there's just that changed atmosphere. Everything changes!)
Here i am to worship
Here i am to bow down
Here i am to say that You're my God
You're altogether lovely, altogether worthy, altogether wonderful to me.
and....i'll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross
(who is your God? who saved you? who redeemed you? who paid the price for your life? Do you know how much it cost? do you know? do you care?)
Thank you for the cross Lord
Thank you for the nail pierced hands
(what did Jesus had to endure to redeem your life and to pay for your sins? did he complain? did he have to do that? what did we do to deserve that the king of kings and the Lord of Lords die for us? to be humiliated, spat at, tortured and jeered at, for our sake? did he deserve to be treated that way? if not for Jesus, what would become of us?)
Thank you for being faithful
even though we've strayed far away
(do you know even if you do not acknowledge God, God still acknowledges you? God knows you by name and he knows the number of hairs on your head. Even if you do not know Him, he knows you. and he CHOOSES to know you, bcos u are His beloved children. Princesses and Princes in the kingdom of God!!! do you know that??)
Stir it up in our hearts Lord
Stir it up in our hearts Lord
A passion for your name
(do u burn with fire for God? do you want to? Ask God. Ask and you shall receive whatever u ask in God's name!)
What does ur worship to God means to you? How do you think your kind of worship will mean to God?
just came back from the youth camp a few hours ago. Wow...again, it was such an experinece. This year was a bit different as i went to bless and was blessed. Last year i went and received. okie there seems to be much to share, so bear with it if u can. I shall start with the worship songs first...i think that the selection of songs are important as they determine the kind of worship to an extent. but more importantly, they convey the theme of the worship. Worship songs are not merely made up of words and letters and melody or by ur singing. Worship songs helps u to express urself to God. of cos, the best worship songs are those made up by urself. Your love songs to God. Self-directed, self-made,UNCENSORED. That's true worship.
and of cos, singing worship songs are useless if u dont mean what u sing. dont understand what u sing. dont know who you are singing to. okay before i think we can start to comprehend what it means to really worship God, I think we have to understand one thing and that is - privilege.
Privilege is a special advantage/something you are lucky to have and you enjoy it very much! pls understand that worshipping God is a privilege! It is not something people in China or India or Malaysia get to do so freely and openly and regularly. Having the presence of God is a privilege! If you've felt spiritually dry, you'll know what i mean. Being alive today is a privilege!Not a must. A should. Life is so fragile. Being the creator of our lives, God can chooses to take us back ANYTIME, whether u are ready or not! and not only these things, but the small things we do and receive are privileges too! That we are able to DO things is already enough to be a privilege. Think about the lame, blind, deaf and mute. Why do they always seem to want to do things despite themselves being handicapped? To them, being able to raise their hands is already good enough. Good enough.
And how about you? Do you think what you have is good enough? You only have good enough when you have God. For God is definitely good enough for us, and in fact, more than enough for us!!!
What privileges do you think u have? and what can be your response(s) to these privileges?
Tmr's the pre-camp for youth camp!!! Actually i don't know what i'm in for, i just know that i will be serving alongside my fellow young adults for the most happening camp in grace. YOUTH CAMP. We're all UPWARD BOUND. Are you?
yup. That's the theme this year. So exciting to me cos i expect God to do great and mighty things in this camp! When God is there, u bet it's gonna be awesome! Last year's experience left a deep impression on me. I was broken but mended thru that powerful camp. This year i know God is not going to disappoint, as long as our hearts truly desire Him. =)
my job so far as a promoter has been blessed. Thou i get stressed over the sales figures almost everyday, i wanna give all the glory to God! For i've learnt to trust in His grace and powers and ways and not on my own puny efforts. All i have is given by Him, what do i lack? Why should i fear?
Praise God for an understanding boss.
Praise God for friendly colleagues.
Praise God for providence.
Praise God for the working environment.
Praise God for no hitches at work.
Praise God for nice customers.
Praise God for providing this job.
Praise God for sustaining me.
There is nothing God cannot do!
I always like to evaluate and reflect upon my life from time to time, so that's why you will see many posts about me reminiscing about my past. I think its good for me as i think i see better if i look at things after some time. The perspective will be more objective. will be clearer.and perhaps, the worst memories then become the most memorable now.
and ya, what i wanna say is..it has been more than half a year since i last contacted him. During these few months, i've been thinking.
Trying to make sense of all that has happened between us
And looking back, thou mere memories now
They were memorable nonetheless
At least there were happy times however short-lived
and boy, whatever happens we have to move on
Like it or notbut before you can move onyou have to accept all that has happened
no matter how hard it is to let go
just know yesterday is history,
a memory you can't change it, nor do anything to make things better
but today and tommorrow, you can decide how you wanna live.
for me, i've decided i wanna live
A life of purpose, of contentment and of joy
At least i've have no regrets if i wont see the sun tmr.
=)
just returned from the celebration a few hours ago. The cake is so delicious! haha...ok gluttony me can only remember all the sumptious food! hmmm...it was a nice cosy little celebration.. though her real birthday are weeks away. nevertheless..photos again. of cos...hee...i can open photo gallery huh. heh.
7th August 2005know this is a few months overdue but just got down to uploading the pics recently. Celebrated the birthday of this old friend of mine at Phin's Steak at Cineleisure with exactly ten people. They are Bdae girl, Siming, Johan, Malcom, Su Teck, Jess, Lilian, Pam, Huey Sian and moi. Btw, the steak there is value-for-money. Nice ambience, courteous ableit inexperienced servers.
Photos photos! erm...dont ask me where are the rest...i think its in the restaurant's mirror!
Christmas is my favourite time of the year! Walking down Orchard a few days ago brought back the season festivity again... but i thought last year's deco was much more happening. hmmm...whatever happened to my white Christmas? anyway...Christmas is much more than the lightings, gifts, Santa Claus and orchard rd! Christmas is about Jesus Christ. In fact, it is all about Him!!!! btw my work is smooth sailing. thank God! cos i think the boss who hired me (there're 2 bosses i think) is real nice. Though sales have been slow and LOW, she didn't make a fuss about it but has been very encouraging. =) It's always a BIG bonus to have an understanding boss isnt it? here are some pics taken which reminds me that Christmas is once again here!!! *wide grin!*
Michelle and me....the background is just so dreamy and surreal aint it?
Shikin is back from Aust! yup, our mini gathering at Marche.
Look at all the lights! So christmacy rite?
And what's Christmas without christamas tree? They light up the place!
and dreamy once more.........=)
The tram to the breathtaking view above......
We stayed in a kampong for our last night. But hey, that's it. Not too bad rite? A Bung in the middle of a kampong? How cool...
I like this shot. Dont u think they looked so natural? and free-spirited? hee...couple look? Presenting Ryan and Jessica!
Welcome to Penang!!! with 3 beauties to welcome u..haha.....
On a swing we go!
Dont miss Penang Laksa when u're in Penang! It's so deli--cio--us! and at less than $1?
The room we stayed! Looks decent ya? the view from the window is breataking man. The room has a good view of the sea!!!
The view above Penang.......
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Michelle and me....the background is just so dreamy and surreal aint it?
Shikin is back from Aust! yup, our mini gathering at Marche.
Look at all the lights! So christmacy rite?
And what's Christmas without christamas tree? They light up the place!
and dreamy once more.........=)
