i'm really tired....in many sense.
sunrise---> sunset?
(sunset thru my house window.)
I love Ps George Westlake's sermons. and it is a pleasant surprise to hear him preach today. He's not new to our church...he always preaches at our church whenever he's in town. He's Ps David Lim's good friend that's why. Praise God! if not, i would not have the chance to hear him preach. i'm always touched by his sharing of God's word and uncompromising attitude regarding God's word. That's the way i think it should be. do not be afraid of man, but God.
I'm not advertising for him..I'm just amazed at how God can use him so powerfully to touch and change lives. and all glory to God! His authority comes from Christ. That's why it is powerful.
woa...ok in case i divert to talking abt power again, i learnt 2 things today that i wanna share here.
God reigns.
God's part: He reigns.
Man's part: LET God reign.
not our trying circumstances
not our father or mother
not our bf or gf
not our perceived weaknesses
not our worldly desires
not even ourselves.
dont try to reign in your own lives, u never will.
Let God reign in urs.
2. Know that I'm a fool.
ok. that is for me to know that i am a fool. it's a note to myself. u would ask why. let me explain. u know i wanted to gain wisdom right, as written in my previous post. and so where in the bible do u find wisdoM? proverbs right....so i went to read proverbs today, prov 26. and i thot i would gain wisdom lo..ha. before reading , i prayed to God to help me understand his word. so huh i was thinking, i would gain wisdom.
Look and behold!
As i started reading prov 26...i felt like a fool! Every line there talks about the behaviour of a fool. A fool is this, is that. don't be a fool etc etc. and i reached halfway, closed the bible, and felt like a fool. I'm being described as a fool! God is saying i am a fool? Why is every sentence about a fool? I want wisdom Lord, not stupidity. i dont wanna be a fool! discouraged...i went to church. trying not to be discouraged. but i felt like a fool. can i still fool myself?
after service, i still thot about me being a fool part. The bible says so. God says. then how? is there hope for me, a fool? i feel so sianz already, to know that i am a fool. so i pondered whether i should continue reading provs 26, which tells me i am a fool. i really didn't want to. but i think ok, since i'm a fool already, nothing to lose if i read on right? what's worse than a fool? n i also thot to myself, God is good. there must be somthing in his word, that is good, at least.
ok, so i plucked up the courage. opened the bible to provs 26 and continued reading. Guess what? This is the verse i saw next;
"Do you see a man wise in his own eyes?
There is more hope for a fool than for him." -v12
and i'm the fool!
haha....i can't imagine i would be able to smile knowing that! but i did.
and i think that's what God wants me to know.
how can i gain wisdom if i do not know that i am a fool?
if i do not know that i am a fool, would i want wisdom?
(if i know that i am a fool, at least i am not that foolish right.)
so,
i'd rather be a fool.
than to fool myself and be wise.
let's recap.
lesson 1: God reigns.
lesson 2: Know that i am a fool.
(ps: Lord, teach us to learn from You.)
may u be touched by God's love too. =)
view more Christian cartoons at http://donghaeng.net/english/main3.htm
its a website set up by a Korean, titled walking with Him..
Thanks Wallis for ur email on this!
may u be touched by God's love too! =)
may u never give up, walking with Him.
I am angry.
why am i expected to understand everybody?
why do everyone not understand me?
why do i get angry at the one who has not made me angry?
why do i not say i am angry to the person who made me angry?
why?
am i really not angry?
or have i just suppressed it really well?
it's the latter i guess, or else i wont be blogging abt this to begin with.
if i have supressed it so well, why does my anger still comes out in other forms? like getting irritated, impatient, ignoring pple n keeping absolutely quiet.
basically, i wanna know- what is the best thing to do when i am angry?
so that afterwards, i dont get angry anymore. i get it over and done with. chuck it aside n be happy again! or at least, not feel bitter again abt that same matter.
when i'm angry, i guess i dont flare up cos i'm scared pple will take it wrongly. take it wrongly as in they will stay away from me, be scared of me, or even hate me. and i dont want that. more often, i am angry at the person, but not for long. i just need time to think it thru.
i dont feel good abt harbouring anger or hatred of any kind. I just cant live with 'them' lor. I'd rather confront the uncomfortable issue and then, as God said in his word, forgive.
but not many understand where my anger is coming from. sometimes i can't even verbalise why i am angry.
it's a feeling. how do i explain something so abstract ? i just feel angry lor.
and if u really do start to understand where my anger is coming from, perhaps u'll know, i just dunno how to manage my anger. i dont really hate u or detest u.
if u really want honesty from me, give me the liberty to do so, and i will.
most of the time, i dont sense the presence of that liberty to be honest, so i dont try to explain myself.
if u want me to be honest, let me be me. even the me u dont want to hear.
thou,
I'm still learning to separate the person from his or her actions.
yes, love the sinner, hate the sin.
i'm still trying.
but thank God, the love he gives to me is bigger than my anger.
and u've heard love overcomes all?
that's it.
=)
after lect today, went to eat prata at Fong Seng with Jess, Anggy, Cherlyn and Dawn.
and our discussion somehow led to talking about how each of us started to attend church. As Anggy, Dawn and I shared about our experiences, I was very encouraged by their faith in God and candidness about their own inadequacies. Later, i was even more surprised when Cherlyn and Jess joined in to talk about their own experiences with Christianity.
as i was listening to the Christians' and non-Christians' views on Christianity, i think i begin to see something that i've failed to see in the past. i realised that all along, i have been talking abt how blessed as a Christian i am. n that after becoming a Christian, i seem to have forgotten what it is like before i was a Christian (a taoist). and that is a problem, bcos that means i cannot empathise with non-Christians when they reveal their reasons for not converting. I seem to have lost touch with the non-Christians' circumstances, even thou i have been a non-Christian b4, most of my life.
whenever i hear abt their reasons, i would think to myself, "no, they are wrong, they need to know God for who He really is. and then they will know they are wrong!"
How wrong am i to think this way!!!!
how can i even judge them?
and after that talk, i've realised that in my own eagerness to share God's love with others, i've become less empathetic to the reasons non-Christians give for not wanting to convert. then i will pray for them, share with them abt God, in the hope that they would come to believe in God. Then when nothing happens, i get discouraged, and start to question what have i done wrong. By me getting discouraged, I've missed the whole point of recognising God's timing, for my friends to know Him! I've failed to acknowledged God's sovereignty in bringing His people to Himself. I've been trying to 'convince' people by my own effort, forgetting that conviction comes only from the Holy Spirit (the spirit of God)!
..........
now i think i know. I was wrong for not recognising that everything is done according to God's own timing and perfect will. Yes, God wants people to know Him, but it is God himself who will decide when, how, when and where. not me. not my effort. not my bible knowledge. i dont have the saving power.
Only God has.
i came to this conclusion bcos a few of non-Christians friends actually told me b4 that it is not bcos they don't want to believe in Jesus, it is bcos they don't feel anything and they see no need. as i think back on what they said, yes it is true. They do not see the need for God in their lives, even though they know who Jesus is and what he did on the cross.
and my own salvation only came at a time, not decided by myself. but on God's terms, in God's way and in God's timing. ya. I converted when i was 19. and did i choose to convert at 19? can i even convert myself?
no.
God chose to convict my heart of Jesus's love at 19.
not i choose.
God choose.
and now i understand more fully why some non-Christians are not Christians, and why Christians are Christians.
It's bcos God choses who to be what. and i gotta recognise God's absolute control and sovereignty in that.
No doubt, God loves everyone.
but God also knows who will believe him and who will not.
i do not know how God will bring my non-Christians friends to believe Him. i do not know when.
Only God knows. Only God can.
Jesus answered: No one can come to me unless the Father who sents me draws him, and i will raise him up at the last day. -Jhn 6:43.
Yet there are some of you who do not believe. For Jesus had known from the beginning which of them did not believe and who would betray him. He went on to say, "this is why i told you that no one can come to me unless the Father has enabled him." -Jhn v 6:64-65
dear friends (who are not Christians), do not be perplexed about why you do not feel God the way Christians do. It is not a matter of superiority or inferiority (althou it sometimes seems to be that way). To me, the only difference between a non-Christian and a Christian is that one has not known God while the other has. All of us humans are equal before God. God shows no favouritism.
God is in control.
the Jesus i know loves everyone. He died on the cross, for all those who have strayed away from God.
In God's timing, i believe God will bring all men n women to Himself.
there will come a day when every knee will bow and every tongue from every tribe and nation will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
i' m sure God loves every one of u, my non-Christians friends. How do i know? Bcos i've been reminded by God so many times to pray for ur salvation. and i know, only God's love will compel me to do that. bcos i dunno what to pray for. but as i pray, words keep coming to me. so i believe in faith, God will reveal himself to u, in His time, on His terms and in His own way.
"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--not by works, so that no one can boast." -Eph 2:8-9
grace is God's kindness.
Jesus loves me, This i know
For the bible tells me so
Little ones to Him belong
They are weak, but He is strong.
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
For the bible tells me so.
before i was a Christian, i wondered who really loves me for who i am
i wondered whether there is someone who will love me very much
now i know.
That person who loves me, just as i am,
The person who loves me very much
Is Jesus.
" You see, just at the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Rom 5:6-8
Do u know God loves u too?
i believe i need to ask, to seek n to grow in wisdom. finds that i'm lacking in this.
yes, i need God's wisdom.
"Do not deceive yourselves. If anyone of you thinks he is wise by the standards of this age, he should become a fool so that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God's sight. As it is written: He catches the wise in their craftiness and again, The Lord knows that the thoughts of the wise are futile."
-1 Cor 3:18-20
Sun
-didn't go church. felt weird. was in a daze. dunno what to do. accompanied bro to buy book. national lib's architecture is real cool. had dinner at home. was at comp doing assignment from 9-4plus am. Phew...
- till 4plus am...till it finally allowed me to upload my assignment file onto the net...almost a 2 hrs wait.(train patience?)..was so sleepy..yet cannot sleep till i've seen SENT.
-SENT.
MoN=YEst
-oh..just got know from Jess that the therapeutic writing was NOT supposed to be DIARY style!!!! What?? so i've done it all wrong for the past 2 weeks? argh.......it was supposed to be more of free association- penning down thoughts or feelings as they come. not structured manner..! ah.....how?
i think the diary posts ah..dunno if i was entertaining myself with it or my blog readers ha.
ok...come to think of it, diary style writing is not bad also, at least when i look back later, i would know what i've done every day! ha. If u haven't already know by now, i'm a person who lives from day to day. hee...bad at projections into the future, needless to say Planning.. *hee.
-so okay...do u guys find my diary style writing bland? if yes, tag k! cos i want constructive feedback. =)
-i woke up at 8plus today (yes dragged myself again)...for a tut at 10. Really gotta thank God, cos u know why? cos hor, i managed to hand in 2 of my assignments today! to me, its a significant achievement already..and thank God cos I had no prob printing out all my assignments, and the lady at the lib copying room was so nice to me! I cant say what...but she did something which was out of the way, for me. and cos of that, i was able to hand in my assignment neat n square. To a slack n disorganised person like me, i really gotta thank God for helping me stay organised n focused.
And i know God doesn't have to, but He chooses to.God is good. All the time!
-tutorial (gek) on religion.
i was abit apprehensive abt this tut cos i thought i might have to share abt Christianity, and i'm scared i wouldn't know what to say! but i was also looking forward to it, cos tut would talk abt food also! during tut, there were a few Christians in class, so i did not say much abt Christianity, except to agree or to clarify certain concepts. there were a few atheists in my class...and including my tutor who said he was confused.
did i feel that i have to defend and promote Christianity?
no i didn't
rather, i felt assured that i had God with me. (i dont mean to suggest that others are inferior if they are not Christians..)
I felt that what i NEEDED to do, was not to promote Christianity to my atheists tutorial mates
I felt i NEEDED to pray for God's touch upon their lives.
words without action is like faith without deeds.
It's useless.
so i'd rather spend time praying for them.
God doesn't need me to take His place.
Jesus has already overcome the world.
pls note i'm not implying that we Christians shouldn't evangelise or share the gospel. We are commanded to. That's very clear in the bible.
what i am saying here is that, a lot of times, people already know what Christianity is all about. so what more can we say? we can't change their minds.
ONLY God can.
so pray for them.
everyone needs God.
there are many things i know not of / don't understand and cannot figure out. thinking of all these makes my mind swirl..and swirl. i cant get anywhere.so, i've chosen to concentrate on what i know.
Sat-2 more days b4 i can 'shed' this style of routine writing. Yeah! ha...-but first i, you got to bear with it for now..sigh.*-woke at TwO PM today...almost din want to get up! then went to buy lunch...watched tv...-then did a bit of QT at 5plus. -went for dinner with my mum at BM. oh...and then we went NTUC-ing! i love that. I think i just like the feeling of walking leisurely in the supermarket. yes, i find it very therapeutic. hee...if only the sw assignments allows that too! hmmm...but then again, maybe i wont enjoy it then, knowing it's an AssignMent. ha. during NTUC-ing, i bought stationery n sweets for my students. feel like i'm a little girl all over again. So carefree, spontanteous n cheery! Then again, i'm a little girl. i dont want to act a big girl anymore.I wanna be a little girl in God's kingdom!!! (la-la-la-la-la...)
-i'm happy to know that i'm happy. hee...
-reached home at 8plus. bathed.
-was reading an article by Rick Warren on the Devotional Method of Bible Study on how to do QT. Think it was printed n given to me by Esther or Ps Becky quite some time ago. It provides me with a framework on how to do QT. Found Rick Warren's advice very useful for me esp this part where he talks abt ;
Studying the word of God can be dangerous if you merely study it without applying it. Bible study without application can be dangerous because knowledge puffs up. The apostle Paul stated, "knowledge puffs up, but love builds up" (1 Cor 8:1). The Greek word "puffs up" has the idea in it of being inflated with pride that in turn leads to arrogance. The bible tells us that the devil knows the Word intellectually (see his temptation of Jesus--Matt 4:1-11), and we also know that he is puffed up with pride and is arrogant. When you correctly apply theWord of God to your life, you eliminate the danger of being puffed up with pride.
Bible study without application can be dangerous because knowledge requires action. What a man knows should find expression in what he does. James declared, "Do not merely listen to the Word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says" (James 1:22). God's commands are not optional. He doesn't say, "Please won't you consider doing this?" He commands, "Do it!" And He expects us to obey.
after reading it, i was again wowed...yes. after reading this, i'm convicted that i should really take time to study God's word. Not only study...but to apply it.
What is the difference between us Christians and Satan is that, Satan doesn't apply God's Word!!!
hope this sharing is useful to u guys as it had been to me! =)
eeks, i gotta go start on my research critique n finish essay soon!!!
I come before You today, And there's just one thing that i want to say
Thank You Lord, Thank You Lord
For all you've given to me, For all the blessings that i cannot see
Thank You Lord, Thank You Lord.
- Don Moen
Thurs-went for geo tut at 10...so glad i went. even thou i can choose not to, as this week was only watching other grps present. but i' glad i went cos the lecturer's comments for other grps were useful for how to do my own grp ppt. it is funny to see the same tut mates behave like strangers in class...to me. and tehm among themselves, cos hwenevr the lecturer asked anything, everyone would be quiet n 'freeze'. and while i do ask a few qns here n there, after a while, i decided to keep quiet..cos it just felt funny to the always the one who ask qns. yup, after a while, i decided to keep my mouth shut. i dont want to appear a smart aleck or bootlicker.
-went home n skipped my mental health lect to do my kinship essay. but i din finish...was only on page 3 when i left it.
-went to meet Jess n Mic at clementi for ktv. We sang from 6 to almost 11. It was really a de-stressing time as we really let our hair down n sang like no one could hear us! ha....that liberation n anyhow sing is a great stress reliever! makes me feel we're like on drugs...cos we felt so 'high'...just singing,
anyhow.-reached home ard 11plus. bathed n went msn...chatted w benny n johan. i really cannot go msn, cos i would be stuck there. ya....self-dicipline, serene.
give it some thought, serene.thinking.....not thinking--->sleep.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Fri
-skipped lect to do kinship essay again.....due today...was at it for almost 5 hrs! this time, i managed to churn out 12 pages of words....n finish drawing n colouring my kinship diagram. I really gotta thank God for his grace. at first, i did not know how i was going to even write a 5 page minimum essay...dunno how to start so last mintue, no research, nothing. In the end, i actually came up with a 12 page one? wow...how could i even have that much intellect n creative juice? I believe God played a huge part. Afterall, He made me. =) even if my flesh is weak, his grace is sufficient for me. =)
-went back to sch for cell at 6plus. again..i could feel God' presence with me. =) fellowship is impt. God knows that. God is so good to us. as we shared abt how God is working in our lives, truly God deserves all the credit! Amen. Yes, Joel's right. Pursue only God.
-went dinner with cell at Kent Ridge. food was only so-so. but to my grumbling stomach, it is okay lah. =) still edible mah. Max worried us with his daze...rest well bro!
I just wanna praise God for all that He has done!
WeD
-day off from school. finally can sleep long long! ha....and i slept till 12 noon. what a good nearly FOUrteEN hours sleep! it's good..finally can sleep like a pig n have such a deep sleep to rejuvenate my tired body.
-oh what did i do? let me recall....i think i went lunch with my sis..then watched tv thruout!
-then i went dinner with mum n sis at 6....
-then i went for tuition- tuition...
-before i went, my thots wasn't settled..as in i was still preoccupied with thinkng of my own thoughts, problems and issues. I didn't feel like teaching, at all (if teaching was a feeling). ya. i was preoccupied with myself. yet i also know i can't go teach insuch a state of mind..so i prayed to God, to calm my nerves and to give me peace. I asked God to help me. I didn't feel any better (as if prayer is a feeling). ya. but i still walked towards the centre. When i got there, i was told to teach another student as the centre had a shortage of tutors that day. I went ahead and agreed although i wasn't confident of teaching that student. I had taught that student before but i always did not know how to handle him when he does not want to do his work. and yes, to teach him again reminded me of my past inability to handle him. but ya, i agreed to teach him, despite all these thoughts at the back of my head.
to cut the story short, at the end of the 2 hrs. I felt happy and competent. No, i did not manage to get the students to do a lot of work. No, it was not because i did nothing.
i was contented bcos i saw the student laugh. It was one of those rarest moments that u would want to capture down on the camera.
i was contented bcos he did the work i assigned without any complains. He did it diligently, quietly. This time.
I was contented bcos i have overcomed my fear n insecurity of teaching him.
by myself i couldn't have done it. I know myself.
but with God in me, nothing is too hard for Him.
=)
I was contented bcos i saw the student laugh. It was one of those rarest moment that u would want to capture down on the camera.
(God, thank you. I now know what u mean when u said in ur word that u have not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and of a sound mind.)
" For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, Abba Father." - Rom 8:15
dear grace brothers n sisters, rem 2 Tim 3:16?
ha.....it came back to me again, this time on a card by a friend.
on the card..it goes:
God's Word University
GWU's standards are out of this world:
Admission available to all
66 major fields of study (OT & NT)
Academic Advisor: Holy Spirit
Transfer welcome
Graduation placement for eternity
Tuition paid at Calvary
I'm enrolled!!! Join me!
Tues
-dragged myself outta bed at 7.20am. for social work fellowship praise n worship at 9. ha..in the end still late for it. reached school at 9.30.
-had prasie n worship in chinese! and ...realised my chinese really "ko yak". haha....EA. MUSt brush up on my chinese le. at least the basic words like the Father, the Son n the Holy Spirit. hmm...worshipping in chinese i feel is like more intimate n richer. words i can't find in english, i can find it in chinese. whatever language we worship in, God's presence is still there. That's the key. =)
-went for lect. agency. hmm..the room gets emptier by the week. wonder how the one standing n giving a lecture feels. i would have felt discouraged. but she's not. thou, i agree her lects are boring, still i like my lecturer! She's sharp. her lects may be boring, but she's not. in fact, i think she's very capable. =)
-after lect, went lib to print some notes. MEt Esther n "aiya!i cant rem his name!" (trust me, i know him.) haiz....met them at the stairway giving out brochures on Davinci Code. they told me the giving out had been slow cos many people have it already. So i offerred to help them. B4 we know it, all the brochures were given out! Praise God! It's not me. It's not us. How nice is it to know that we are not working alone? =)
and Esther n all campus crusade people, dont be discouraged cos of rejection or that u can't give out all the brochures u're supposed to give out, know that we're working alongside God. dont have to fear. =)think of the many who already have the brochures! Praise God for that! they read or not, not for us to fret abt! Know that our father is always at work, to this very day!
-oh...The Davinci Code Controversy (my opinion)
Lies and the truth.
What are the lies? What's the truth?
Behind lies assume the truth right?
If not why bother to lie?
Lies tries to cover up the truth, cos truth exposes the lies.
whatever u choose to believe, somewhere in ur heart, u know the truth.
Lies bind u
The truth sets u free.
Context: Jesus's instructions to his disciples (Jesus sends out the Twelve)
"So do not be afraid of them. There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known." - Matt 10:26
to be frank, i was disturbed by the way Davinci Code portrays Christianity. cos it challenges all that i've chosen to believe. yet, i was assured by God's word. Brothers n sisters, we need to know what God's word says. at such a time, we need extra wisdom n discernment from God. ask God. we need not try hard to defend our faith, God will fight for us. press on in faith, towards the prize we have in heavenward. let us not be bothered by all this, which will only draw us away from God. Stay close to God. Study His word. Pursue only God. =)
"....And surely, I am with you always, to the very end of the age." - Matt 28:20
[God, thank you for helping me understand ur word. Thank you for being patient with me. Lord, assure me of ur presence each day. I want to do ur will. Help me stay in ur will. Thank you God. Thank You Jesus. Thank you Holy Spirit. =) ]
Mon, 12 Mar (bear with or skip read my routine updates...i'm doing a sw therapeutic assignment actually, got to write diary everyday like that....)
-woke up at 8plus am to wake my brother up for school
-went back to sleep again at 9
-woke up at noon, wash up. had lunch with my sister, was so funny cos the noodles uncle told me he thought i went missing! guess cos he haven't seen me patronising his noodles for a few days ba. few days. ya..
-went for research lect at 2.
-stayed in school to do readings (ha, its half a reading only.) till ard 6. when my mum called to go dinner. Met Mingjie, Mingrong and "i can't rem her name!"....i'm sure i rem...are i too stressed? hmmm....
-had dinner with mum at anchorpt and went for drama mtg in chc
-Drama-playback.
powerful. deep. touching. thankful. no feeling. thought-provoking. sad. genuine.
thou i guess everyone of us went home with heavy hearts, we know, our intense moments show how real God is.
(God, thank you once again for today. for food which i tend to take for granted. u provided for it althou it wasn't even on my mind. i'm so thankful that u thought of me, even b4 i thought of myself. that u thought ahead for me and had everything planned for me. truly, ur grace is sufficient for me. I know i'm living in ur grace, and by ur grace. thank you Lord for being so real to me. You are truly God, and u truly reigns! if u take care of the sparrows, how much more me? Thank you Lord!)
I'll rejoice each day, bcos i know it is a day the Lord has made!
Sunday!
-went for youth svc. could sense the burden n urgency to share the gospel, yet at the same time, so filled with joy n gratitude! so filled with gratitude and joy bcos of the hope that is inside of me. We have hope bcos of God! We need not despair.
We need not bow down to our circumstances.
We need not live in our pain, anymore.
We can have life, life to the full and abundance
We can rejoice n hope in the Lord!
We can praise the Lord in all circumstances!
Praise the Lord!
------------------------------------------------
cried to the Lord yest...felt so much pain...felt so unworthy of God's great love for me. the song I Was MAde to Praise You- my tears just flowed as i sang it. i couldn't imagine why someone like me, God wants. Why someone like me, God loves. Why someone like me, is made to love the King of Kings, and the Lord of Lords, Jesus Christ. I dont understand. u mean I was made to PRAISE you? To LOve You n I was MADE for You? in my finite capacity, i see no reason why. No reason. it just doesn't makes sense! u mean You, God, loves me?
and the song Empower Me describes my heart cry to God. i know why i love the Lord so much now.
Cos He first loved me.
Nobody knows how weak I am
Better than You
Nobody sees all of my needs
Better than You
And nobody has the power to change me
To what i was born to be
Jesus, be strong in my weakness
Empower me
Empower me
Like a rushing river flowing to the sea
Lord, send Your Holy Spirit, flowing out through me
Til I'm living as Your child
Victorious and free
Send the power of Your Love
Empower me
Nobody's eyes see through my soul
Better than You
Nobody's love can make me whole
No love but Yours
And nobody has the power
To lift me to reach eternity
Jesus, break through all my defences
Empower me...
"This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." - 1 John 4:9-12
FRi-went for interview at MOE, for a teaching position. wow...tell u, inside that small little interview rm number 22, an intense battle of words and tact was on. Confusion was the word. A gal facing a panel of 3 guys....and keep smiling. She just spoke whatver that she could think of. Still smiling. Still laughing. Still nervous. So intense was the battle that it left her heart thumping soon after she left the room.
nothing could have prepared me for it.
phew..it's done and over with.
ha...i wasn't sure if they were impressed, but i am sure, I made an impression.
The battle is the Lord's.
-had cell grp meeting at 6. it ended officially at 8.30.
.....went for dinner at MUnchie Monkey in school....then a few of us, JOel, Esther, Rach n i were actually supposed to leave school...then cos i had them accompany me to pass something to Dillon...we actually stayed in school till almost 11.15? yup...we even came up with a worship song abt God's creation...half a song prob...
i really enjoyed the fellowship we had. guess them too. cos we din want to leave the room! we wanted to worship! and to end it all off, God sent Johann to send us all back! Praise God!
tired n weary bodies...stickiness n discomfort...work n stress...weary... but praise the Lord!
Sat=today-had volunteers's training at Faithacts in the noon
really enjoyed the training by Michael (social worker cum facilitator). after his intro n all, i know i was in Faithacts not by accident. i was placed there for a reason, a need. It agreed with the values i had, is what i wanted to do. -)
-YA svc. The REAL team is back! and back with a bang! God's house today was literally filled with shouts of joy and praise! Amen! Their enthusiasm and bursting youthfulness makes me wanna go on a mission trip too! yes i will go...has always been on my mind. I want to see God work!
Ps Lim spoke on Singles. Healthy and whole! yes. 1 is a whole number! that we can let our singlehood be used by God for his glory! To choose to live in the victory of Jesus Christ. a really encouraging speech to us singles, and attached but not married. He also helped us clear a lot of our doubts abt dating and bgr. so glad for his wisdom and advice. cos there are too many seemly real misconceptions out there.
-went dinner with Li Sheng at Holland V. talked abt financial planning. yes, gues it's time to start thinking abt it now...then to worry later. depressing figures but yup, realistic ones. i'd rather start thinking abt my future now...yeah..
-called Andrew after he msged me abt his cousin's wedding dinner. Lucky chap who gets to eat so much good food and still complain! so called to tease him abt that! but topic deviated ...to serious stuff...hmm...it's sobering to face the truth. but we gotta face it somehow and move on. recognise our part in it. and learn to be wiser from there. If we are so good n perfect, we wouldn't need God. -)
Would u believe me if i said, that we are the ones who can make the change in the world today?Would you believe me if i said,that all of the dreams in your heart can come true today?Would you believe me if i said,that life can be all that u want it to be today?yeah...And if i had wings, i would flycause all that i need, You areand if the world caves in around me,to You i'd still hold on.Cause You're all that i believeand the One that created me.Jesus, because of You, I'm free..!Would u believe me if i said,that God can make miracles happentoday?Would u believe me if i said,that u don't need to wait for the answers before u step out in faith?Would u believe me if i said, that nothing is ever impossible for God?Just live your life with God insideYou won't regret one moment of itAnd give all that u can, for God, for God.I'm free....!!!!!Jesus, because of You, I'm free.....!!!!!
some updates for this week:
MOn:
A day i always look forward to! cos got drama! ha....drama is so cool! I'm just beginning to scratch the surface of it all...i like drama cos i always learn something new from each meeting. and the committee's acting are so vivid and real...not forgetting HILARIOUS. What's more exciting is, the whole production is our act of worship unto God!!! what a privilege to be part of God's great plan! and what an interesting way to serve Him! I really loveeee it! God, thanks for the opportunity! i get to fulfil one of my many childhood desires...hee...so cool!
TUeS:
had my geo test. i think it was more of cracking ur brain to think of creative answers than anything. cos the questions, well, for most of them, i dunno what they mean! ha..it was a definition test by the way. What's a white city? ha....i dunno....need to activate my creativity ! hee.....such tests amuse me. i guess the lecturer will be tickled by our answers. ha.
Wed:
tuition day at FaithActs. i'm beginning to like the youths and kids there more...and enjoy teaching them more! thou a lot of times, i cant teach science! what atoms and molecules? maths still can. thankfully. =) sometimes all they need is a bit of encouragement and patience. to listen to them talk. and man, my 2 girls can talk non-stop! sweets and friendship bands....still owe them. or do i? oops..
Thurs=Today
my sis's bdae. ha...put it first cos it was noted on my organiser..ha...oops i really forgot to wish my sis happy birthday! how blur can i get?
Happy Birthday dearest irritating sis!!! ha..u literally SPICE up my life! Know that you're a dearly loved child of God. No matter what setbacks, rem to always hold on to Father God's hand, and u'll know u're safe. Amen?
(oh b4 i forget. God, thank you for providing food. thank you for divine intervention that allows me to do complete my assignment on time. thank you for speaking to me on the early bus rides. thank you for ur sweet and peaceful presence. thank you for ur sweet assurance of love. thank you for opportunities to serve u, and to share w others. thank you for 'charlie angels'. i know i'm a dearly loved child of God. Amen!)
CompleteHere I am, Oh God I bring this sacrifice--my open heart. I offer up my life. I look to You, Lord Restores me again So I lift my eyes to you, Lord In Your strength will I break through, Lord Touch me now, let your love fall down on me And I will be complete in You. Here I am, Oh God I bring this sacrifice--my open heart. I offer up my life. I look to You, Lord. Your love that never ends Restores me again So I lift my eyes to you Lord And by faith, I will walk on, Lord Then I'll see beyond my calvary one day, And I will be complete in.. I look to You, Lord Your love that never ends Restores me again So I lift my eyes to you Lord In your strength will I break through Lord Touch me now, let your love fall down on me I know your love dispels all my fears. Through the storm I will hold on Lord And I pray I will hold on, Lord Then I'll see beyond my calvary one day And I will be complete in I will be complete in I will be complete in You
It's my prayer to God today.
All i want, is to seek your faceAll i need, is a moment of graceIt's in you, that i have the faith, To stand up and be strong.Cos i know, I'm no longer boundIt's in you, that I've foundPeace of mind, freedom from my sinAnd the power , to love and forgive.I want to walk with youEveryday of my lifeTo talk with you, in the good and the strifeYou're my friend, you're my FatherFor all time.....Nothing can keep us apart,You're the lover of my heart.
wow.
dear fellow children of God,
God really knows my inner struggles....and comforts me with his word. Today during YA Svc, Ps Cuixian's poignant sharing of God's word ..struck many chords with me! out of the 4 main things that could distract us from Staying in the Will of God, 3 were bingo for me. huh...so apt, i began to wonder if God was speaking directly to me.
Yes, He is speaking to me.
in life, i find that there are so many distractions that takes us away from God. sometimes, it is not that we want to. We still love God, no doubt...or think we do. But yet, we spend so much of our time, NOT doing His will.
and what else could matter more to the Father, than seeing His children doing His will?
His pleasing and perfect will.
Maybe u've heard God's call some time ago. Maybe you think He has revealed His will to u.
Do u know what's the Father's will?
Where are u now?
Are u still staying in His will?
something in this verse struck me while i was reading it. i dunno what God's will for u is. Everyone of us have different crosses to bear. What's most impt, is to hear from the Father. Desire and do what He desires.
Context: Jesus was speaking to the crowd
" For i have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of Him who sent me, that i shall lose none of all that he has given me, but raise them up at the last day."
(note 2 myself: Dear Father, i know u're calling me. I know. now let me do it. i'm distracted by so many things. but i want to do ur will, cos i know, that is where i find true joy. Thank you Father. I love you Lord. u know my inner thots and struggles, like nobody else. and i wanna give my life to u. i commit. take me.)
It's all about Jesus. It's all about the way He changed our lives. It's all about Jesus.The power of His blood can't be denied.
i havent been able to pen down the many issues swirling inside my little brain ....so many ideas, questions and doubts, and yet i'm unable to concretise them into words. now no need le...cos i've found what i've been searching for, right here in these words;
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
........You who are trying to be justified by law (circumcision) have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace.....For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.
You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth? That kind of persection does not comes from the one who calls you. A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough. I am confident in the Lord that you will take no other view. The one who is throwing you into confusion will pay the penalty, whoever he may be.
......You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbour as yourself."
-Eph 5: 1-14
Amen?(Ps: i really gotta plough the Word even if i may have a difficult start. cos i need God's Word to grow.. n be strong.God, enable me.)
I learnt an important lesson today. A lesson of: The impact of what we say.
the 'kids' are not as cheerful as they seem.
yes,they are playful ...mischevious and rude at times and not forgetting super duper RowDy. ha...
They are not as without a care, as they seems.
hard to imagine hor....whenever we label a weak student, have we ever considered how they would feel?
"u are never gonna make it in life. ..no matter how hard u try. no use."
How do u feel if the above is spoken, right in ur face?
it was then that it struck me that, words, can cause such a powerful impact to the people who are on the receiving end. Seems to me that the student minded a lot, what was said to him. It had put him on the defensive. He looked troubled. In social work, we learn that there are different levels of feelings. What we can see is called the surface feeling, but that feeling is always associated or accompanied with another feeling at a deeper level. In other words, what shows on the outside is only an indication of something deeper. often we tend to view students who are defiant, or difficult to deal with as "problematic", these students at the same time, display behaviours we see as rude or disrespectful. We justify our labeling when we see them like that.
"see i told u he/she's like that."
we justify our labeling.
have we put ourselves in the students' shoes?
what would they feel? rejection at home. and now, rejection in school. and rejection by people like us, who label them?
Casual and careless words spoken, will always be etched in a person's memory.
we can nv fully empathise what labeling does to a child's young, tender and impressionable heart.ni shou wo men shi lan ping guo. na ni you mei you xiang guo shi shui nong wo men lan de?
(another note: God, i asked for joy to fill me if it is what u want me to do. And i felt it. The joy of teaching the youths. If it is what u want me to do, i'm willing Lord. pardon my weak flesh and failing heart...make them strong.)
Dear brothers and sisters in Christ,
How are u guys doing? bet ur recent or upcoming weeks are swamped with projs, assignments, writing endless reports and mid-term tests! ha....all of us are so busy these days isnt't it?
Spent time with God this week?
For the past 2 weeks, i have been worrying, stressed and panicky, cos i had so much things to do! and to spend time with God for me was a conscious and sometimes reluctant decision. (cos that means, taking time out from doing my assignments!) Yet, i feel that i need to spend time with God. bcos i had no peace, and was very stressed. Doing assignments became very task-oriented, done with the aim of completing them in the Shortest Time Possible, yet, i dont feel happy. In fact, i feel so empty.
Perhaps some of u may have the same experience as me. and the reason why i wanna share this with u guys, is that i feel that we should not let our busyness and hectice lifestyle prevent us from spending time with God. we should not ignore the emptiness inside us, and procrastinate spending time with God. bcos when we start to do that, we move further and further away from God. God loses importance in our lives. He is no longer number 1 in our lives. We lose intimacy and fellowship with God.
perhaps all of us can take some time to think about how we have been spending our time, here on earth. What do we spend the most time on here? Is it mugging? Busy trying to get so many things done? or is it, taking time out, to be still before God, to delight in His presence and rely on His strength, so that u move on each day, being in the centre of His will?
at the end of the day, let's ask ourselves: Are we doing the things that will matter for eternity?
Be still and know that He is God.
It is a conscious effort.
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Ps: i found this website online and there is a write up by a female author, after watching The Passion of The Christ. It is the "Reponse of the Day". i would strongly encourage u to read it, and let the words speak to u. Most importantly, let God minister to u. =)
http://www.mylifeafter.com/
Finally, let us not be ruled by the busyness in our lives, but to learn how to seek after the ONe who gives us life. and in Him, whom we'll find all that we' ll ever need. God bless!
May the love of Christ be with u all!
VERSE(1): Jesus Christ, I think upon your sacrifice, You became nothing, poured out to death. Many times I've wondered at Your gift of life, And I'm in that place once again. I'm in that place once again. CHORUS: and once again I look upon the cross where you died, Im humble by your mercy and I'm broken inside. Once again I thank You, once again I pour out my life. VERSE(2): Now you are exalted to the highest place, King of the heavens, where one day I'll bow. But for now, I marvel at this saving grace, And Im full of praise once again. I'm full of praise once again. CHORUS BRIDE(2x): Thank You for the cross (Oh Jesus), Thank You for the cross, Thank You for the cross, my friend
yest after school...i met up with Su Teck...we shared and discussed about Christianity. i was really glad to know that u are willing to give it a try. can u sense my joy when i heard that? haha....but all credit to God! Su Teck, know for yourself that God is real, God is true and God is good! dont take my words for it, see and know it for urself!
i pray you'll experience God !!!
" I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe."
-from the book of Ephesians 1:17-19 (a chapter in the bible)
i'm really tired....in many sense.
