i haven cried so much in a long while. tonight i cried buckets, after i finished watching the taiwanese drama "why why love". it was truly episodes of heartbreaking scenes one after another. and i saw how impending death could draw people so much closer, allow true friendship to surface, renew the blood ties, and reveal unconditional, undying love.
the tears just flowed like the running tap. it seemed that i was actually feeling the pain they had when they saw someone they loved dying. it was heartbreaking. is that empathy i feel?
and as i watched those heartbreaking moments, strangely but slowly, i recalled those most painful moments of my life. i guess the most painful one must be when my father left the family. the other painful ones had to do with me hurting those who love me. what right do i have to hurt them???? i absolutely dont. then the other other painful ones would be the different times when close friends and mentors exited my life. up till today i still don't understand why they leave bcos i didn't have the chance to say goodbye. other painful times would be when i was ignored, belittled by others; the times where i felt so alone bcos no one would talk to me; or when someone chooses to talk to another person but me; and those times where i was misunderstood by my family members; and those times where i didn't do a good job at work.
those heartbreaking moments.
have you had those times when you feel your heart break into a million pieces a pain so piercing, a wound so searing you could hardly breathe and you couldn't understand why it hurt so much.
i am quite glad i cried so much tonight. it is a relief to let it all out. it feels good to connect once again with my heart. i feel more real now.
Serene, 25, Christian
a sinner saved by God's grace.
a beloved child of God.
a social worker (youth).
a daughter.
a sister to 2 younger siblings.
Your Love
"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." -1 John 4:10
Loves n Adores
*God; the Father, Son Jesus and Holy Spirit
*Family; Tan
*Church; Grace Assembly of God
*My close friends
*My cell group; AHH (After His Heart)
*Youths
*Missions
*Children
*Good food, Chocolates and Ice-cream!
