i cant sleep. :( must be the white chocolate dream that i drank just now after dinner. could be that my sis is not back yet. could be that i have too many things on my mind now.
emotional health.
my emotional health has been so bad lately. and so unhealthy.
have been trying hard not to think of the fact that i may soon lose my humble abode have been trying hard not to feel guilty about not visiting grandma as often now have been trying hard not be worried about my bro's addiction to computer gaming have been trying to spend more time with my family have been trying hard not to be distracted at work bcos of cell have beeen trying hard not to be overly worried about the burdens God has placed in my heart to pray for still trying to understand why and how in such a short time, u got attached. have been trying to understand what 2 of my good friends are thinking of. --one is drifting away from the friendship, the other ignores me totally now. i am saddened and i dunno what to do. i think i have a part to play for how these 2 friendship has become..directly or indirectly.. but i am trying my best and i dont want the friendship to turn out this way.. but maybe its all too late.. and i guess i have to accept it. with no expectations comes no disappointment.. is this how i should view this? i wish to believe otherwise... but things betwwen us really is not optimistic nor hopeful. i really want to know, "good friend, am i still your good friend?"
its not hard to see why i am so stressed emotionally....
with all these things happening in my life... i just dunno..i am.. unhappy, worried and sad. i am still able to do my work..and function la...just that these things blur my rationality.. i cant understand why. i have no answers.. i cant explain.. although i have always pride myself on being the very rational one. too rational most of the time.
yeah i am someone who has always let my mind rule my actions, instead of my heart. i dont believe in the follow your heart thing bcos i know the heart can be deceitful above all things as mentioned in the bible. so i'll follow my mind when it comes to making decisions. esp the major ones. i trust my mind more than my heart. maybe thats why i am such a thinker but when it comes to matters of the heart, i am so unsure and indecisive... haiz. and my emotions always blur my thinking, cant think properly. but when i start to think rationally and use my mind, the emotions are in a mess.
but yet i know the heart is also important. feelings are important. and i know God has given me a heart. as in a heart heart. the heart is made of flesh, not stone. the heart feels. and i thank God that He has given me a heart to feel. i thank God who made me and gave me a heart.
Proverbs 4:23 says "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. "
Matthew 22:36-38 says "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'This is the first and greatest commandment."
Philippians 4: 7 says "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
i have a heart and i have a mind. how come they can be so divided?
will they ever learn to be congruent?
will my heart follow my mind? bcos my mind doesnt want to follow my heart...
is it just me or is there someone out there who feels the same as me?
Serene, 25, Christian
a sinner saved by God's grace.
a beloved child of God.
a social worker (youth).
a daughter.
a sister to 2 younger siblings.
Your Love
"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." -1 John 4:10
Loves n Adores
*God; the Father, Son Jesus and Holy Spirit
*Family; Tan
*Church; Grace Assembly of God
*My close friends
*My cell group; AHH (After His Heart)
*Youths
*Missions
*Children
*Good food, Chocolates and Ice-cream!
