i find myself drifting further from God these days, intentionally. i dont have the desire to read His word, to pray, to worship. What is happening to me? i can feel it. i feel so far away from God, so far..... where i used to be so close.
i dunno if the immensity of the knowledge of the task ahead is contributing to this...but i know it does play a part. Joey spoke to me last sat after the combined svc..and i was so glad he did. all along i guessed i needed someone to talk to me abt that...but no one suitable came, nor could i talk to just anyone. cos i needed someone who know me and my family...and who's best other than kin right. and i was really glad that Joey put into perspective a lot of issues that i am currently facing... and perhaps due to the similarities of circumstances that we both faced, he understood my inner struggles. Thank God! i didn't need to explain much nor do i have to be on the defensive to explain my actions. i guess the reason God asked him to speak to me was that God wanted me to do something! in the midst of the conversation, i realised that i had been running from the problem all this while, even though i recognise the problem! and God is like telling me, "Not knowing what to do doesn't give u the excuse of not doing anything." wow. "Not knowing what to do doesn't give u the excuse of not doing anything." i dunno exactly what God wants me to do.... I only have a vague idea at most. And i could see that the task ahead is so gigantic! would i be able to cope alone? i am definite i can't!!! but if God is in the picture, i know i can. and i know God works for the good of those who love Him, according to His will. and i know God is using the gigantic-ness of the circumstances to teach me total dependence on Him. For with Him, all things are possible! Joey, if you are reading this, i just wanna thank you for taking the time out to be concerned, and to take the effort to meet up with me and to come for service. i am not exaggerating but coming from a family that has kinda of disintegrated and lack family warmth, your concern really made the difference. Family do care. Ties do bind. Thanks a millon cousin!!! not having what i used to have had taught me to treasure what i have now...and be thankful i marvelled at the huge gap Much makes a man want more Little makes him contented makes him treasure the present more God is perhaps teaching me to treasure everything i have now, instead of dwelling in past hurts, unforgiveness and loss. I'm glad for these lessons I'm glad God is training me, moulding me Most of all. I'm glad God's the one holding me For i know with all my heart, that He would never leave me nor forsake me. He is my stabilising force in this uncertain world.
Thanks my Lord!
pssst: i have confessions to make. i've reflected upon my actions and realised the serious need to repent! ya, like what Mic says, when God saw how i've treated others, He must be real ashamed of me!! not to mention, angry and with a disapproving look! and yes, now i am really ashamed to admit that i am the one who has done all these nasty things. So here, i would like to apologise to: -->the one i ignored totally at my birthday celebration. Sorry to treat u that way! i know now that whatever my reasons for ignoring you, it is just not right to ignore someone like that! Sorry! -->Mic. for me not being open and honest enough about how i feel. i'm glad u took the initiative to clear things up with me, i am thankful i have a friend like you, who always tell me what i NEED TO HEAR. THANKS SISTER!!! -->for gossipping at my workplace. i realised it is not a good testimony. i've realised it and i hope i will NOT gossip about others again. Gossip kills. -->for neglecting God. u know sometimes when u know u really need God, yet you dont feel like seeking Him? u do the things u don't want to do? in btw, SATAN and sin tempts and stumble us. and over time, we DON"T SEE THE NEED TO SEEK GOD ANYMORE? and we backslide? actually it is very easy to backslide and renounce our faith. but those who hang on are the ones who will get the eternal reward. where am i with Christ now?
Serene, 25, Christian
a sinner saved by God's grace.
a beloved child of God.
a social worker (youth).
a daughter.
a sister to 2 younger siblings.
Your Love
"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." -1 John 4:10
Loves n Adores
*God; the Father, Son Jesus and Holy Spirit
*Family; Tan
*Church; Grace Assembly of God
*My close friends
*My cell group; AHH (After His Heart)
*Youths
*Missions
*Children
*Good food, Chocolates and Ice-cream!
