after YA (young adult) service today, i took the mrt to clementi to meet my couz, Tina, for dinner. on the train, as it was quite crowded, i stood near the door. On my left and right were 2 male Indian nationals. I think they were foreign workers, cos they didn't look local. I kinda stood in between the 2 of them, with around 2 'persons' spacing apart far from them (in distance). All this while i stood with my arms folded across my chest, holding on to my shoulder bag. They kinda viewed me from time to time. Noticing that folding my arms may be perceived as a defensive stance, i put down my hands. One hand in pocket, the other holding on to my bag. They continued to view me from time to time. I did that too.
Looking at their faces, i could not help but was filled with empathy for them. I could see in their eyes, longing for acceptance, for security. They seemed to view everything around them with suspicion, taking in everything with a pinch of salt. They looked uncomfortable, felt like they did not belong. Nor were the things they see belonging to them. I seemed to feel what they feel. If i was correct that is. So i said a little prayer for them. I prayed that God will touch them and fill them with His love. This was uttered inside my mind. after that.......
At one particular stop, 2 ladies (one auntie) came towards the door we were at, waiting to alight. the moment the auntie stopped in front of me, she immediately covered her nose with one of her hands. the other lady held a finger to her nose, somehow rubbing it. They did this till the mrt door opened, and alighted. I waited to look at the expression on the 2 nationals' faces. When i looked at them, one of them lowered his head, while the other looked at me and looked away, with a tinge of skeptisim, mixed with distrust and displeasure.
At the nationals' reactions, i felt so ashamed. Ashamed of what my fellow Singaporean compatriot did.
inside my tiny head, i was repeating "You are worthy in Jesus's name. You are worthy in Jesus's name." I felt the Holy Spirit leading me to this thought. And i wanted so badly to say it to them. i kept thinking this thought. Lord let them know they are worthy.
"You are worthy in Jesus's name." I looked at them, repeating this thought, wishing somehow, they would get my msg. God's msg.
At another stop, another lady came near the door, rubbed her nose, and alighted. At this, by this, the nationals' faces showed resignation, dejection. Somehow, i felt that they were very hurt by these reactions, yet they were helpless. what could they do except to bear with it? they looked away, even avoiding my gaze.
i looked at them, earnestly and honestly. i did not want to shun them away with my reaction. I stood, with both feet firm to the ground. I stood firm. I stood tall. I did not smell anything, trust me. i was thinking my nose was probably not functioning well, i took a sniff, but i smelled no odour, or anything bad! I stood my ground, i did not want to move an inch, did not want them to think i was shunning them too. i had no reason to shun them. I did not want to. Jesus did not.
upon reaching my stop, i had a sudden urge to tell them "You are worthy in Jesus's name"/"You are worthy in Jesus's eyes". I thought i felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to say this. I had a sudden urge and deep desire to want to say it to them. Let them know Jesus doesn't shun them. Let them know Jesus loves them.
when the door opened at clementi.....somehow, like all others before me, i passed them by, without saying a word. i walked out of the door, saying nothing.
i regretted it almost instantly when i was out. Why did i not say it? face issue? social conformity at work?pride!!! i admit all these played a part. i was fearful of being labelled weird if i talk to them. Thing is, they are also humans!!! why do i fear what others think if i know what i am doing is right? still, my pride got in the way and i kept quiet. (pouts) perhaps they have never heard anything like that before. perhaps no one has ever shown them that kind of love before. perhaps they did not know that, someone UP there loves them. Loves them.
I told Esther before that i think i have a burden for the foreign workers in Singapore. bcos whenever i see them, the expression on their tired faces never fail to pull the strings of my heart. my heart would go out to them. I would feel like helping them, trying to understand them and give them the help they need (social work perhaps). each time, i would be filled with sympathy for them. amidst the perceived fear of crime committed by some foreign workers (rape, molest etc.) i had heard about such cases. but my sympathy for them did not diminish nor lessen. to me, they are people in need of help. Esther told me then, perhaps, if God leads, that could be my ministry. i do not know if that would be the case. i just know, i still feel for them...not bcos i have a bigger heart than you......but bcos...............
Jesus has a bigger love.
A bigger heart.
Than us, humans.

I know the God who lives inside of me yearns to bring people to him.
yearns to love people, men and women. boys and girls. young and old. His people.
Jesus's love is inclusive.
If you believe Jesus loves you, you'll know He loves not only you.
he also loves your brother. your neighbour. your friend.
your enemy.
people who do not like him.
he loves.

dear brothers and sisters in Christ, the next time u see a person in need of love in his / her life and if the Spirit prompts, are you going to pass them by or are u going to extend the love of God that is inside you to him or her?

what would Jesus do?

(Side track: i love Singapore!!!!!!! suddenly i am aware of the blessedness of living in Singapore and being a Singaporean. i know our country is blessed. i know Singaporeans are blessed. don't wanna take that for granted! counting my blessings. knowing they come from above. ;) loving the times i spent with my couz, Xun Yu, Joyce and Jess, Jennifer, at YA, in church, at Faithacts, in Nus, in social work, with non-social work friends. i'm so grateful for these times. i feel so blessed. well, i have a great God, that's why!heeee...)

You are worthy in Jesus's eyes.

posted by ser @ 12:24 AM