i woke up at 11 am. washed up. read cleo for reading sake. read the bible, romans. all the way to 1plus...then went to dao bao prawn noodles from the coffeeshop behind. ate and watched TV...and stoned. the Tv shows weren't particularly nice but i watched anyway bcos i had nothing else more attractive to do! watched till i finally decided to stop and realised that the living room was very dirty. So i switched off the Tv and started to vacuum. and then i went on to vacuum my room, threw away old files and notes and changed my bedsheet. then it was already 4 pm. i promised my friend to have dinner with her at 5.30 at bugis! I was running late!! but i decided to finish all i was doing and have a quick shower. still i was late. cos i never have a quick shower by the way! haha...i think the only time was during last year's church youth camp where we had to be out of the shower in like 5 mins??!! haha...still rem my camp mates standing outside my shower room and hurrying me to get out after barely 3 mins! ooopss... that was because us girls were using the guys shower room. haha....it is ironic how the girls have more shower rooms than the guys but still took forever to shower, while the guys have lesser shower rooms and yet ...all of them got bathed by the stipulated time. haiz...is it just girls or it is the guys who are fast? haha... okok...so i was late...reached bugis around 6pm!!! my lateness has 'killed' me so many times already! was really paiseh that i am always late. yes guys and girls, i do feel paiseh to keep you guys waiting. i will try not to be late. i will definitely try. =) had dinner with Lisheng (girl) from church and went for interview at Fin-exis. Fin-exis is also where she is working at. So before that, she briefed me a little about the company. However, because i was called to attend the interview and had not applied for the job, i did not take the whole interview seriously. i dressed formally and brought along my resume and qualifications and looked up the company website, but i was not eager in gaining employment there. i guessed the orientation they gave did not help much in helping me to make a decision. After that, i was still apprehensive if i really wanted to work in this company. I really did not know what job i wanted. The company, on the other hand, was already planning to interview and select candidates to work in their company. After taking the aptitude test,each of us were interviewed by a staff. I was interviewed by one of the managers. He started to ask me questions like what is my ideal career, what i've learnt from the orientation etc. Questions which would help him gauge whether i would be the right person for their company. and i couldn't even answer these basic questions. because i don't know what i want. I know i need a job but i dunno what i want. His questions made me question myself. Instead of answers, my mind was filled with question marks! not surprisingly, he did most of the talking while i was still figuring out my thoughts. i think the interview lasted for about 10 mins. after the interview, i knew i would not be called back for a 2nd interview. Actually, i knew it during the interview. it's weird how i seem to know the answer and yet not know. after i left the company, i suddenly felt so lost. i was thinking to myself "Man, i really dunno what i want! Do i want a job? Is this job what i want? what do i really want in a job?" lost lost lost...really lost in my thoughts. and the questions that the manager asked were questions i should already have answers to! but i don't. what do i really want? graduates like me are making plans for their future....some have jobs already, some busy going for interviews after interviews and know what jobs they want. and i don't. don't have any plans. no idea where i should head or what i should do. i just know that i need to find a job to support myself. how long can i last like this? should i let circumstances define my career or should i define my own career in spite of circumstances? it is a constant dilemma. and i also thought about which career i take, that would allow me to fulfil God's will for my life. I want to hear God's loud YES or NO to a career i should take. Yet i hear none. i think God wants me to make the choice? really lost about what i should do now. perhaps i just need to be assured by God that i am still walking in His will. (不管社会怎么看, 怎么变, 我只需要你在我身边. )
cos i am happiest when i know the Lord is walking with me, every step of the way. Lord, your will be done. =)
i've finally confirmed the fact that i am a quiet girl by nature. I used to think that i like to talk and am very talkative. but when i am being myself, i am quiet. i like to be in my own world of thoughts....being quiet. i don't like to tell others my thoughts unless really necessary. I like to think by myself. Am i really a people person then? haha.don't be surprised if u see me dwell in my own quietness and in stoning mode! i can take the solititude. i know some can't!!!
i'm still in the process of sorting my thoughts. and getting them right and focused on where they should be focused at.
if you can pray for me k!
God bless you all!
=)
The view of Penang. Taken from the temple. awesome isn't it?everyday is a precious gift from God, embrace it!
don't just see the problems, look at the blessings!
The view of Penang. Taken from the temple. awesome isn't it?
