congruent, as we have learnt in social work, actually quite like the congruent triangles we learnt in sec school, it's a fit. perfect, exact fit, between who you are and who you say you are. it requires one to be genuinue and truthful with one self. for example, smiling can mean many things. smiling with your hands folded implies you are somewhat on the defensive. smiling yet shifting positions (swaying) can suggest that you are nervous and anxious. (yup, much like psychology)
so when you smile because you are actually nervous, do you say/admit you are nervous? or do you say you are being friendly?
so as the title suggests, i am going to be congruent. i admit, i haven't been congruent all this while.
ok, congruent me says:
many times, i think people see me as a Christian who is (i shall quote) "religious", "pious", "holy", "full of passion for God", "enthu girl in church", "angel" (?)....etc..and because of that, i'm always seen as a goody two shoes, girl-next-door ya? these are qualities i strive to have, a person i strive to be but today i am going to debunk that (to provide a more realistic and true explanation of all that others perceive me to be)!
hmmm......*smiles*
someone once asked me why i am always so passionate about God. (i can't remember the exact question but it was something like that).
to the outsider who does not know how my walk with God is really like, hmm...my answer would go something like erm... i dunno. it's not easy.
and yes, it is tough. some of u may think that what u see on the surface is what happens on the inside. well, it is. but it is much more than that.
i struggle a lot. mainly emotionally and spiritually.
i go to church almost every week because i want to go praise and worship God together with the church, want to hear the pastor preach God's word. after a week of school or work, i just want to dwell in God's presence which can be felt so evidently in church. i can worship at home too. but worshiping God in church with the congregation, worship team and choir is just different and more awesome. it's like seeing a heavenly choir on earth! it's not because i am holy, religious, or pious!
recently, the bible has been very precious to me. my daily companion.
yes, by saying that means it has not been precious to me in the past.
the fact that it has, means something- it does not happen by chance.
nowadays, though during the exams period where i should be fervently studying, i try to read a portion of the bible each day before i start studying. it is not because i am holy or religious or whatever people may call it. It is because i realise i need to. i desperately need to read the bible to know what God says about me, my circumstances. yes, u seen it right. i want to know what God says about me, my circumstances.
several times, i would get emotional and cry, upset over something my mum or my sis had said. many a times, it was not really them, but the words they said that really upset me a lot. and i would cry and get upset over what they said..5 mins ago, crying..... 30mins ago....still crying.......sometimes, it becomes uncontrollable....
and i dunno why that flood of emotions. i could understand why i cry in the first place. but i could not understand why and how come it became uncontrollable. am i just sensitive or what?
and i've come to realise ignoring the problem doesn't help. it makes it worse.
so i read the bible, wanting to look for solace, but i continued reading Jeremiah which was about the destruction of the nations that disobeyed God. destruction. and then i read proverbs...hmm...and i don't understand. i think they are just stating the obvious and common sense. that was at first glance and first reading.
now i know why studying the word of God (the bible) is so important. Like Sis Jo used to always say, you cannot just read the bible,like a storybook, u have to study the bible. keyword is study.
ok, coming back to what i wanted to blog about.
in fact all the time, what people see in me on the outside, how they describe me, such as holy and religious does not mean that my walk with God is easy and rosy. how do i know people think this way? because they commented that, they wished they could be like me. (in my walk with God)
dear friends, reaching a close walk with the Lord is work.
it requires effort to read God's word. it requires an active choice to put God first in everything and anything that you do.
growing in the Lord does not happen overnight. of cos, God can reveal to us something we have never known before, but how do we and how can we know, unless we read his word?
and today, i am so glad i took time (out of mugging) to attend the YA service. i totally agree with the points raised by Ps Ron.he preached about the church in Thyatira, in Rev 2...about how their tolerance of false teachings led them astray.
indeed, in the world we live in today, there are so many false teachings that seem so true. in fact, there is an element of some truth in them. but they are not the truth.
and what is the truth?
only the bible will tell you. (the world can tell u the truth, but often is not willing to do so.)
reading God's word (the bible) will be uncomfortable for some, in fact, many. for me, it was and is uncomfortable because it speaks about my own sins, my own flaws and imperfection. but that does not stop me from reading the bible, not for long.
yes, it is demoralising to read about destruction, our own sinful nature, our flesh desires, our deep hidden secrets that we wished others would never know, and the white lies we had said --> all of them gets rebuked and seen in the light and made clearer, bigger (magnified!), and reminded us that we are sinners, we have fallen short of the glory of God, we are hypocrites, we are not there yet, hardly.
yes we are.
reading and studying the bible, knowing God's word also means interpreting it correctly! (as what Ps Ron said)
and.....why is the bible structured in such a way, that tells of evil deeds, destruction, fall of adam and eve, punishment, judgement and man's sinful nature?
have u ever wondered why?
being a Christian does not end with salvation. to grow as a Christian, to be mature and not lacking anything, often is the result of perserverance, suffering, persecution, effort and an active choice to choose God over all other things in your life. God has to be the first priority in your life.
Ps Ron mentioned that today, tolerance has a different meaning. today it means, considering every value, lifestyle, idea as all equally valid. meaning; i cannot tell you what you believe is not true.
for Christians that increases our burden to tolerate others.
has that tolerance for others, others beliefs, their own choices resulted in Christians' tolerance of false teachings?
have we? have the church?
and how do we know what we believe is true, and not false?
Christians believe Christianity is the truth. We believe what the bible says is true. we believe our faith is true.
how do we know? how can we be sure? how can we be the salt and light of this world if we do not know the truth that we believe in?
Ps Ron gave a case example. A person wanted to know how to differentiate between a real and a fake jade, and so went to work at a jade shop. yet, after one whole month, all he was told to do, was to clean all the jades in the shop. he did that for a month. one day, a customer came in and wanted to sell his jade for 10, 000 dollars, saying that it was dug up from his grandmother's grave. the boss was not around at that time,nobody was around at the shop, other than that trainee. So that trainee attended to the man, said okay, and took the jade. He then replied, "this jade is fake!"
how did he know?
because he had been in frequent, close and daily contact with real jade! (thus, he knew what real jade feels like and know what is fake.)
in the same way, how do we know false teachings?
we study God's word!
how do we know what is good and what is evil?
we study God's word!
do not see me as having a walk with God that you wished you had.
do not envy me. i'm also a sinner. i have my own flaws, imperfections (ask my family!). i have doubts in my Christian walk. i have times where i strayed away from God. times of spiritual dryness. times of diobedience. times when i sinned.
by writing all these, i do not seek to judge you, pls do not think of it that way.
like what one of the guest Pastors said, Christians are like beggers. we are just telling one another/others where to get food.
take me as a begger.
if i have inspired or encouraged you in some way or another, i would be more than glad.
however, the only thing that i can be truly proud of, is when i have pointed you to God himself.
God the Father.
Jesus, our Lord and Saviour.
Holy Spirit, our teacher, can teach us so many things about God that we have never known before.
thing is, are we willing to know God better?
are we willing to take time to study his word?
and now, i am reminded of what Ps Lim said, 90% of all we need to know about God's will is clearly revealed in God's word....he added;
Study God's word diligently. There is no substitute for this.
lastly, being the congruent me means telling and sharing with u all these. good things are meant to be shared. =)
as i read what i have written, i realise that it is very similar to what Rach had written before, in her blog. dear Rach, i didn't copy. but your blog has always been an inspiration for me. and of cos, u too! Thanks a lot!
=)
