as i sat here typing, my heart feels so heavy. i think i know why. but i do not know its source. Is it my heart or God's?
recent experiences with close friends, church friends, project mates, email correspondents, others' blogs, the News, my family, R-age berry Jam and the bible have made my heart sink. Suddenly the things that are happening around me, in other people's lives become so poignant to me. there seems to be a ache within me i cannot really explain. I can't believe i will cry when i see a person's heart hardened to God, but i did. and i was crying as if it was my business. to put it more clearly, it really wasn't my business. why do my heart care for someone's else problem with God? i can't do anything to help that person. so why do i feel that it is my business?
If it is God's ache, i can tell you all confidently, that it pains. i feel it in my heart, knowledge tells me there is no reason to cry, my heart tells me to let it all out.
what i feel is so real. I can't deny it. am i the emotional sort? how many times have u seen me cry? Do i like to cry?
but recently, i seem to be crying a lot. I am not sure if i am relieving my stress, or is it more than that.
is the Holy Spirit grieving? I really dunno. I really can't say i know the Holy Spirit well. but i know He's inside of me.
and that crying/sobbing has led me to pray and intercede more. The world is so upside down and so crazy today. What's right becomes looked upon as wrong, and what's wrong becomes legitimate.
What will we do, those of us who claim we have the Truth?
what can we do?
do we let it dim? do we compromise?
or...... do we let it shine?
For our friends
For the ones we love
For our family who brought us up
For the people who need God
For the world which is so upside down.
