Take time to read this woman's story...
Things at work have been hard. It caused me to go to my posture of defensivenss. I wanted to say," You don't understand-you don't know my story. I have to defend myself because no one else will." I grew up with an acoholic father and a mother who suffered extreme emotional problems. At a very young age (8 or so) I became the one who wehn my father beat my mother I would step in to defend her, and when my mother would berate my father I was the one who would step in to defend him. Up until i was 16, I took all the verbal abuse my mother had thrown at me, but there was on this day that I decided not to take it anymore. My father told me that I needed to go back in there and take it. This arrow pierced my heart so deeply that the walls of my heart became impenetrable. I've not allowed this wound to be touched for many, many years.
God has showed me that because of this defensiveness I buried, my truly feminine heart who longs deeply to be pursued and fought for, to be seen as beautiful, to be tender and kind, to feel deeply. He has shown me that by bringing this into my marriage. I have not allowed Dave the opportunity to fight for me. For this I am grieved. God asked me to repent of this to Dave and take the risk of being vulnerable once again. I Stand in this risky place of vulnerability, with a bleeding heart waiting and praying. Everyday I must choose to lay down my defensiveness and allow the healing balm of Jesus to attend to my wound and allow him to be my God, my Strength, and my Defender.
He told me that I didn't need to defend myself anymore, that was his job, He is my Defender and Advocate. Would I let him be that for me? I said yes. That was a huge weight lifted off that I can't fully explain.
copyrighted @ 2005 by John and Stasi Eldredge
-Some of my own thoughts-
Do you know there's a vulnerability in every girl and woman?
That's what makes a woman , a woman.
Very often, however, women today are perceived as the emerging stronger gender, with more education, power, status and wealth. They are capable, or equally capable than the men. They demand equal rights as the men, yet they demand to be treated as a woman. Why? Innately, women are created to be vulnerable. Beneath all the things they had lies a tender heart that longs to be cherished and loved. Yet, the reality of this world has made them close up that desire and learn to be strong, to defend themselves, bcos no one else will.
Who Will?
Do you also know there's no wound Jesus cannot heal?
Do you know that He is also willing to heal the wounds?
He wants to heal, but not without your permission.
Dear girls, do you know you are wonderfully made and dearly loved by the Lord Jesus Christ?
He is willing to be your Defender, your Strength and your Advocate.
Are you willing?
