i'm not a superwoman.
If i can, i'd like to sit alone under a tree, look out at the sea all day long and do nothing.
i'm not a superwoman.
a few of you may wonder how i can manage so many things, do so many things, cope with so one problem after another, juggle my uni workload, wk at black angus, attend church services, fulfill family obligations, finding time to talk to people, and still, wanting to join the youth ministry this year.
i'm coping with a lot of responsibilities, yes. I miss my dad, yes. I think abt my own bgr, yes. I struggle a lot financially, physically and mentally, yes. I struggle, just like anyone of you. I feel pain, hurt, exhaustion, worry, tiredness, anger, irritated, just like you. I'm only human. I too can fall sick and let emotions get the better of me. i too have times where i just feel i cant cope anymore. i too have my fair share of problems and worries and anxieties, just like you.
i too have unanswered prayers. I too have cried out to God and yet fallen into the Devil's trap. I too, cant seem to sense God's presence when i worship him. I too wished i wouldn't have to go through all this. i too find myself envious of people's lives, envious of the material things they have and i don't have. I too find it hard to love people. I too find it hard to really fogive and forget.
i'm not a superwoman.
A few times, the problems got so bad that i was on the verge of breaking down, i was almost crying every night. and crying for so long. not eating much either. not in the right frame of mind to think. i told God i cant carry on anymore. I cant take it anymore. i was afraid i would go crazy.
all this, not many of you know. but the fact that i didn't say was bcos i didn't want sympathy, i didn't want concern. i didn't want help from anyone of you. I didn't want to burden you all with stuff when i couldn't even verbalise how i was feeling. I didn't want people, friends to feel sorry for me.
the only reason i chose to write this down, is that i want those who think that i'm a superwoman, a strong person, to know that i'm not. I'm not a strong person. in fact, i always want to take the easy way out!
if you've wondered how i've managed to come this far, be this strong, have so much faith, and still manage to keep the smile, it's because God made me strong. It's not that i'm strong, it's bcos i know i have a God who is able to make me strong. So i chose to be strong, for His glory.
I'm not a superwoman.
Joyce, testimony. everyone of us will have different testimonies. Testimonies are witnesses, pointing to and affirming God's power and faithfulness, revealing His glory. above all, a testimony is between you and God. He shows his power to you and his love for you. it may not be a drama mama testimony like mine, but it's what God is showing you, through the testimonies that's important. little things like reaching the bus stop and the bus comes, meeting someone who's able to have lunch with you etc are also testimonies of God's goodness and faithfulness.
hmm.. actually i can name a few for you, let's see;
-getting ur driving license
-your dad's safety
-mal's sister's health
-mal's results
-ur mum's health
-ur results
-ur family members who provides ur financial needs
and so much more. think abt your answered prayers. think about how God has worked in your life.
let us always rem:
My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline
and do not resent his rebuke,
because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
as a father the son he delights in. -Pro 3:11-12
